“Guess I really can’t be too hard on her,” I tell Truman, who still seems annoyed that McCarthy wasright thereand we didn’t go home with him so he could sit in bed and scarf down Mexican food.
“You got super attached to him, didn’t you?” I stroke my index finger along the length of the dog’s long, velvety nose.
I wrap my arms around my knees and lean my head against them.
Did he mean it when he said he loved me? He was there, wasn’t he?
“I need to stop,” I say out loud, my breath warming the fabric of my jeans. I need to accept my fate, that I’m going to be alone forever. Yes, I’m being dramatic, but I’ve earned it. After all, no one’s coming to save me. And if I have to save myself, I’m not going to do it with any sort of gravitas. I’m going to bitch and whine and complain the entire time.
“Ahoy!” a man calls from the water.
I look up, peering into the dark. “Zephyr?” My throat closes as I choke up when I see the familiar face.
A rickety raft, one side low in the water due to the multicolored VW bus perched on the side, chugs slowly up to the pier.
Zephyr gives me a hearty wave. He hops off the boat as Al bumps the raft up against the pier, Cher giving an ominous lurch.
“Poor Jenna. I heard what happened. Hannah called your mom.” He wraps me in a hug. “I’m sorry you got your heart broken, poor old girl.”
Then I’m hugging back, inexplicably happy to see the old hippie. “I failed at love. Again. I don’t know why this is so hard. What’s wrong with me?” I cry.
Zephyr hums a folk tune while I sob uncontrollably on his shoulder.
“Sorry,” I choke out, wiping at my eyes. “I’m not really your problem. You didn’t have to come out all this way. I could have taken the ferry in a few hours.”
“Jenna.”
“I’m a freaking mess. I bet you thought getting involved with a woman with an adult daughter would mean you wouldn’t get roped into childcare stuff. Too bad I’m an adult toddler—a freaking failure, no job, no home, no car. I don’teven know where my phone is. I have my stuff scattered to the four corners of my exes’ houses.”
“Jenna.”
“I just thought I was in love with him. I mean, part of me knew it wasn’t real, knew it was nothing but lies upon lies upon lies, but I just wanted, for once, for it to be real, to have a guy, you know,love me. Guess I’m not actually lovable. Even Truman doesn’t like me. He’s mad that I broke up with McCarthy and he has to be outside now.”
“Jenna.” Zephyr places his hands on my shoulders. “You are a lovable person, and I’m so honored that you’ve allowed me to be in your life and to help you in whatever small way I can. Children are a blessing. Even when they’re grown.”
“I don’t know if I fit that bill.” I wipe my eyes with the back of McCarthy’s glove.
“You’re kind, you’re a good friend, you have a zest for life, and I enjoy spending time with you. And it hurts my soul that your father doesn’t see that. He missed out, because you’re one of my favorite people on this earth. Hannah loves you. Your mom loves you. Your great-grandmother loves you. Truman loves you, Jenna. You’re his person. And I love you. You are worthy and deserving of love.”
“I’m not.” I sniffle. “McCarthy just… I don’t even think he broke my heart because I think it was already smashed up into little pieces when I met him. I thought he was going to put my heart back together, and instead, he just threw the pieces in the trash.”
“It sounds like that might have been more about him and his trauma than you and yours. You do not need him to heal. I suspect he’s going to have to learn that lesson as well.”
“He’s not learning a lesson; he doesn’t care.”
Zephyr gives me an enigmatic smile. “Where is he, anyway?”
“Um, jail, I think. He got arrested instead of me. I sort of ran over two people. It was a whole thing. One of them looked pretty bad.”
Zephyr pauses.
“See!” I wail. “My life is a disaster.”
“Mercury is in retrograde,” he murmurs.
“This isn’t Mercury. I think this is karma. I was probably a scam artist in a past life or something.”
Zephyr hands me a handkerchief with faded sunflowers on it. “Come. Your mom’s going to make zucchini fritters with dill aioli. We’ve got quite the harvest. Then I’ll have to make another trek back to the land of metal and steel.” He wiggles his grubby, bare toes. His eyes are twinkling.
