“Well, um, thanks for that,” I add quickly.
He nods. Buddy tries to crawl into his lap.
“You can’t be ready to go home already, boy.” McCarthy kisses the dog on the nose. “You’re worse than Truman.”
My ovaries explode, and my heart melts.
Stop it,I warn myself.
“Why did you…” McCarthy’s eyes search mine. “I mean, you said you hated me. Why did you…” He gestures to the dog.
“Because that’s your dog.” I’m tearing up. “I don’t care what you did. No one deserves to not have their dog.”
The tears flow as I watch Buddy, who’s looking up at McCarthy like he still can’t believe his boy is here. “I can’t believe he still recognizes you.” I’m sobbing now. “We don’t deserve dogs.”
McCarthy huffs out a laugh then leans over to wipe the tears off my face. His hand lingers on my cheek.
“Jenna. I’m sorry,” he says softly. “Not for going after your shitty exes and your stalkers—fuck that. I’m sorry I hurt you, though. That wasn’t my intention. Not that it means anything, but I love you. I’m in love with you. I know I don’t deserve you, but can I still want you anyway? I’m a selfish bastard, you know that.” His mouth twists.
“I promise I won’t buy you a car or a house or take you to Paris. We can go dumpster diving and take long walks along a deserted highway and drink cheap beer on the pier.” The way he smiles at me, almost hesitantly, makes me fall in love with him all over again.
Nope.
Never.
Can we please, for once, learn from our mistakes? The universe is trying to teach us a lesson.
I tug away from him gently. “McCarthy…”
“Jenna, please. I love you.” He sounds desperate.
“McCarthy, don’t, please. I can’t.” I sigh. “I think I need a break. Well, I got fired, so I have one, technically. I need to take a break from dating. Since I was twelve, I’ve always had a boyfriend. I should take care of my own shit. You can’t love someone until you love yourself.”
“I absolutely loathe myself, and I still love you. I hate myself for hurting you, for ruining the one good thing in my life.” McCarthy’s face is serious.
I point at his dog. “You have Buddy.”
“Jenna, please don’t do this to me. I can’t lose you,” he begs. “I’ll go crazy when you’re not around me. I love you, Jenna. Don’t you see that?”
I grind my teeth together so I don’t give in and throw myself into his arms. “I’m trying to get my life together, McCarthy, raisemy standards.”
“That better not mean you’re going to get back on those godforsaken dating apps.” He scowls. “Are you going out with that parrot guy again?”
“Okay, sir, let’s take it down, like, five notches, because you’re a convicted felon.”
“Yeah, but I’m a felon with a yacht.”
“I thought it was your brother’s.”
“Bought my own. I have to be able to drive something.”
“I’m not your PR agent anymore. I don’t care,la-la-la!”
“Bought another plane too. I’d offer to fly you anywhere you want to go, but I know you won’t take me up on it.”
“I can’t, McCarthy.” I turn away.
“Just give me another chance. I love you. Jenna!” he calls after me. “Wait, Jenna.”
