“What, did you two lose a bunch of money for your company and now you’re making an amateur sex tape so that you can pay it back and you don’t get fired?”
He shoves me back so hard I almost trip over the ottoman. “What the hell is wrong with you? Why are you always so weird and unpleasant?”
“You are fucking your coworker. In our bed.”
“In my bed,” he corrects meanly.
Told you,McCarthy’s voice whispers in my head.
I resist the urge to slap the side of my head to make the voice go away, to make them all go away.
“Now, look, I didn’t want you to find out like this, but we’re going to make some changes around here, Jelly Bean. If you want to stay here, then you need to accept that Johanna is pregnant and—”
“She’s having your baby?”
“We’re turning the guest room into the nursery. I’m going to marry her, obviously, but you can still live here. You can be the nanny.”
I’m stunned. He has to be joking, right?
“I’ll still take care of youlike that.” He wraps his arms around me, presses his still-damp cock against my leg. I feel it through my tights—warm and damp like a freshly dead hamster.
“I don’t really want to fuck a big, gross pregnant woman anyway.” He kisses me then, forces his tongue into my mouth so I taste her.
I’m gonna puke.
The room is spinning.
I’m numb except for the hot roiling nausea.
I hate him. I hate her. I hate this. I hate the dissolution of the dream.
Most of all, I hate that McCarthy is right.
“You seem strangely calm about this,”Hannah says.
“I'm really trying to take the scenic route to ‘freaking out,’ but it's still definitely the destination.” I guzzle wine. “Thankfully, you’re in town; I have no one to talk to about this. My life is a disaster. It’s in free fall. How did this happen?”
My phone rings. It’s been doing that among Nathan, Andreas, and now my mom.
Mom:Answer your phone! I read your tea leaves. I have exciting news!
Mom:You’re pregnant!
“Oh my god.” Hannah inhales her wine when she looks over my shoulder to read Mom’s text message. “You’re pregnant with Nathan’s—”
“No, God, no. We haven’t had sex in…”Five months and eleven days.“A while,” I say hastily because it’s pathetic, right? That I was pining for Nathan while he was off getting his needs met elsewhere?
“Your mom seems pretty sure…”
I delete her messages right as more pour in.
Nathan:Don’t be like this, Jenna.
Nathan:I told you I still want to take care of you.
Nathan:I still love you. I know you. You’re misinterpreting what I said. You don’t know the whole story.
I’m spiraling now.
