“Have you seen your parents since your husband died?”
“No. Evidently, I’m not worth my father’s time or effort anymore, especially since he won’t be receiving any more payments from Armstrong. Now that the viscount is dead, there’s no more money. I don’t ever want to see my father again, especially since he has no more sway over my future.”
“And your mother?”
“When Armstrong passed, I received one letter from her, apologizing for everything my father had done. She told me she begged him to reconsider but he refused. She evidently had help getting that letter to me because she said I shouldn’t write back to her and I haven’t received any more letters.”
“That doesn’t sound good. Was your father cruel to your mother?”
“When I was young, I remember seeing bruises on her arms, and she rarely wore short sleeves, even in the summer. I can only suspect it was to hide any marks my father left. My father insisted the house always needed to be quiet, and she walked around on eggshells most of the time, trying to keep me out of my father’s way. As I got older, I noticed she spent a lot of time in her suite of rooms and didn’t come out for days. She could have been hiding more horrendous bruises and injuries, but I don’t know that for sure because I wasn’t allowed to visit her. I regret not sneaking into her room to at leastcomfort her, but then, it might have made things worse if I had seen what my father had done to her.”
“Your poor mother. Perhaps you’re not the only one who’s had to endure a harsh marriage.”
“I’m sure you’re correct. I miss my mother and would really like to see her again, but I don’t want to cause any more problems for her with my father. She’s been through enough.”
“Do you think your father would punish her for seeing you?”
“I don’t know, and I don’t want to risk it. The one thing I do know is that I don’t think I can forgive my father for choosing money over my happiness.”
“Unfortunately, money can be quite an incentive for some people to do things they might not normally do.”
“My father definitely falls into that group on top of being a harsh man.”
“Does your mother ever leave the estate? Perhaps you could meet her somewhere.”
Olivia shook her head. “My father keeps her on a tight leash, barely letting her out of his sight. I would never want to do anything to put her in harm’s way, so I stayed away. My mother’s maid must have helped mail the letter, but I don’t trust any of the other servants to keep a meeting between us secret. I understand their loyalty has to be to the man who pays their salary, but I’m sure they know what’s happening in that house.”
“I can’t imagine not being able to see my mother and sisters. They were a great comfort to me when Stephen passed away, especially my sister, Georgina. We’ve always been close, and her letters were very much appreciated..”
“It’s been difficult not seeing my mother, but that’s my lot in life. At least now, I’m free to do as I please, and I want to keep it that way.”
“How about I propose something new?” Bett asked.
“Oh? And what may that be? If it’s to accompany me to see my mother, I will decline. I think that would just cause trouble.”
“No, nothing like that. I’ve received an invitation to attend a house party at Lord Fleming’s country estate in Guilford. Stephen and Lord Fleming were friendly, and he’s a kind gentleman. Lady Fleming is quite lovely as well, and I think you’d like her. I’d very much like to go and for you to attend with me. It’ll be fun knowing I have a friend nearby, even though I do know the Flemings.”
“Bett, I don’t think that’s a good idea. I’m not fit for company these days.” She didn’t want to tell her friend about the nagging doubts she had about her worthiness. Armstrong had verbally abused her to the point that some days, she was afraid of her own shadow. It was hard to overcome such criticism.
“That’s only because you haven’t socialized much for the past two years. Surely a house party can’t be that terrifying. It’s not like we’re going to London for the Season.”
“Oh, heaven forbid. That’s the last place I wish to go, especially since every fortune hunter in Town would most likely be after my money.” It was easier for her to convince herself that this was the real reason she didn’t want to go to London. What man would want a woman who couldn’t have a child? Two years of marriage and not one pregnancy had convinced her she was barren, no matter what Bett thought.
“Oh, heaven forbid. That’s the last place I wish to go.” What man would want a woman who couldn’t have a child? Two years of marriage and not one pregnancy had convinced her she was barren, no matter what Bett thought.
“That’s so true. Thetoncan be cruel. Navigating the marriage mart isn’t for the faint of heart,” Bett said.
“I’m not looking for a husband,” Olivia said.
“Not at this moment, but people change. Who knows? You could meet someone who sweeps you off your feet. You’re a beautiful young woman who should enjoy life to the fullest, not hide away in the country. You deserve every happiness life has to offer.”
Olivia sipped her tea, giving herself a moment to think of a good reason why she shouldn’t attend the house party. Except there really wasn’t a good reason besides her fear of being unworthy.
Maybe she could go and enjoy herself a little without any commitments. Didn’t mean she had to marry anyone. Being by herself for the past two years had changed her. Although she was no longer the timid eighteen-year-old forced to marry Armstrong, her self-confidence had taken a huge hit and was practically non-existent these days. It was safer to be alone, although she’d never admit, not even to Bett, that she was lonely out here with only the servants and tenants for company.
“Come on, Liv, it’ll be fun. Please say you’ll come with me. I do so want to go.”
How could she disappoint her friend, who’d always stood by her? “Oh, all right. I guess a house party could be rather fun.”
