“Dearest, I don’t need to go to the modiste, and I told you I would mend your gloves,” Audrey said.
“Why don’t we all go? I’ll open an account for your personal use. After all, if you decide on a Season, you’ll need to consult the modiste on some new dresses, isthat not so?” he asked.
Mia squealed with delight, and Audrey knew there was no use fighting the decision. She looked at Lord Fletcher and nodded. “Thank you, my lord, for your kindness. Shall we depart in an hour?”
“Perfect,” he said, diving into his eggs, bacon, and toast with gusto.
Audrey was more confused than ever. Lord Fletcher was so congenial this morning, and yet, he wouldn’t even speak to her last evening except when he asked her to play the pianoforte. Was he merely playing a game? Making Mia and Grace love him before abandoning them? The last thing she wanted was for her sisters to be hurt if he wasn’t serious in his intention to care for and protect them.
She needed to speak to him privately, and as she didn’t want her sisters to hear what she was saying, she lingered in the dining room until both Mia and Grace had gone upstairs to change.
“My lord, what are you doing? Is this some kind of game you’re playing with our lives?” she asked with an unrelenting stare.
“Game? Is that what you believe I’m doing?” Jacob asked, the muscles twitching along his jaw the only indication that he was upset by her question.
“I honestly don’t know what you’re doing. Trust me, I wish I did.”
“Miss Parker, I’m merely trying to provide for you and your sisters the best way I know how.”
“Very well, then,” Audrey said, standing.
“May we…um…have a private moment to talk while your sisters are upstairs?” he asked.
Audrey wanted more than a mere moment to talk through everything with him. This was not the best time to delve into it. “Can it wait until later? I need to change, and don’t wish to delay our departure.”
“Of course.”
222
Jacob watched her fleehis company once more. He’d been hoping to talk to her privately, and when she lingered in the dining room, he’d thought they could finally have a conversation about their shared kiss without her sisters overhearing them.
Except that didn’t happen.
The tone of her voice when she accused him of playing games with their lives had cut him to the quick. What kind of monster did she think he was? He’d never toyed with anyone’s feelings in his life, and he wasn’t about to start now. Anger unfurled in his chest at the allegation.
How could he convince her that he only had the best of intentions toward her and her sisters? She’d invaded his senses without even trying, and he couldn’t stop thinking about her. Morning, noon, and night, she was all he thought about.
Why couldn’t he just tell her how he felt? His inability to express his feelings was a failing of his, he knew, butit was hard to change how he dealt with it on such short notice. He had to remember she was not a mind reader, and without his words, she would have no idea what he was thinking and feeling.
He wanted to do something nice for her today to make up for his lack of conversation last night, and that’s why he suggested a trip to the modiste. What woman didn’t love going to the modiste’s? He’d wanted Miss Parker to react as Mia had. Well, maybe not with that level of exuberance, but surely she could see he was trying to do his best for them.
Jacob left the dining room and walked down the hall to his study. Once inside, he began to pace—back and forth, back and forth—his hands clenching and unclenching as he tried to think through the current situation. Perhaps he needed to analyze the situation through a different lens.
From what he could understand of the Parker sisters’ circumstances before he’d arrived in London, Miss Parker had had the sole responsibility for taking care of her sisters ever since their mother passed a few years earlier. Evidently, their father’s grief at losing his wife was such that it clouded everything for him, including taking care of his daughters. How difficult that must have been for her, to not only lose a beloved parent, but then to watch as her only surviving parent lost himself.
It was unthinkable that she’d borne that heavy responsibility on her own. When his parents died, he’d had Henry to lean on. From what he could tell, MissParker had had no one to help her. The worry of keeping her sisters sheltered and fed must have been tremendous, but she’d soldiered on.
His admiration for her grew tremendously.
He thought about all their past conversations, and it finally dawned on him what her greatest fear was—that he would abandon them just like her father had. That rocked him to his core, and he realized that he could never leave the woman he was falling in love with.
Chapter23
The trip to the modiste’swas unexpected but certainly welcome. Audrey needed some lace, maybe some pearls, and a bit of ribbon if she was going to modify one of her mother’s dresses for the evening musicale.
As promised, Lord Fletcher opened an account for them with Mrs. Beaumont.
“Of course, my lord. Miss Parker and her sisters are dear customers of mine,” the modiste said.
