She could not bear it.
She could not do anything else. For her arrival back home might stay the battle she’d Seen, the one in which both Alasdair and Moira lost their lives.
Though only the four of them stood out in front of the stronghold, Saerla did not deceive herself. Scores of others watched them from behind and atop the walls. Guards, others of the warriors, servants, MacLeod clansfolk.
She could not touch Rory as she wished. Lean up and kiss him one more time. She would not so embarrass him, nor impugn his dignity. Even though it seemed everyone knew already where he’d been last night.
Even Rhian, who’d rolled her eyes at Saerla when they met this morning.
“Did that monster force his way in upon ye again last evening?”
“There was no forcing, sister. I let him in.”
Rhian had not been pleased. “Aye, well, the gods be praised he is doing the right thing and letting ye go.”
They were both doing the right thing. How, then, could it feel so wrong?
Leith stepped up to Saerla and looked at her kindly. “Ready, mistress?”
“Sister. Call me Sister.”
He tried to smile. Leith ordinarily had a very engaging smile. It failed him now. Did he understand in part what it took for her to leave?
Rhian came forward and embraced Saerla hard. It felt like being held once more in Ma’s arms. “Sister, be safe.”
“Ye also.” When would she see Rhian again? “Tak’ care o’ the bairn.”
“I will.”
Saerla turned to Rory. He still gazed off across the glen, over her head, green eyes narrowed, as if nothing more concerned him. The planes of his face had gone tense and stern.
“Chief MacLeod.”
He focused on her at last. The cold in his eyes flared into something else that encompassed despair.
Should she tell him how she felt for him? Lean up close before they must part and whisper the words for his ear alone?I love ye, Rory MacLeod. I love ye right well. She might never have another chance. Might never see him again.
Except on the battlefield. In her dreams. Rory running wild with two other lads.
“Mistress.” He gave her a jerky bow. “A safe journey.”
“Look after yoursel’, and please, please consider achieving a peace.”
His lips twisted in a bitter grimace. It was the last sight she had of him before she and Leith started away.
*
Rory stood andwatched Saerla out of sight. He could see a great distance, so clear was the air. That meant he stood there a long while following the progress of the two figures. Leith, so large and broad, Saerla looking terribly small at his side. When they reached the loch, Leith drew up a wee boat and prepared to help her in.
Once she crossed the water, she would be lost to him.
But nay—she was already lost to him.
At his side, Rhian babbled something. Telling him he’d done the right thing. He barely listened, all his being focused on the woman with the crown of red-gold hair.
Just before Leith helped her into the boat, she turned and looked back at him. And it was as if—almost—he touched her again. As if they flew together once more.
If only they had wings. They might meet on the updrafts. Soar above the glen, over the hills and into the light.
