Darlei sobbed. Shehad never wept so, not in all her life. As she had discovered, especially lately, a woman wept tears from time to time, no matter how strong she thought she was. Most of hers had been angry tears, or those born of pride.
This, this was grief. Grief such as she had not known existed.
He had come for her. She had sent him away again.
She had sent him away in order to save his life. At least he had that, still.
She had seen Urfet fight before, as Deathan had not. She knew the ins and outs of the man’s tricky mind. He never played fair. And when the blood had flowed, she had reacted without thought.
The fear that had fountained up through her was deep and fierce as fire. It had roots in her soul.
It had overwhelmed her. Spoken for her. But…
Had she done the right thing?
Yes. Yes, never doubt it.For nothing—not even marriage to a stranger—could be worse than seeing Deathan lying dead on the ground.
Nothing.
Yet had he won, she might have ridden away with him. Free.
She had condemned herself for his sake. Was it so different from what he had tried to do for hers?
She wept so long that Orle begged her to stop and then despaired of her. She must at last have gone out to fetch Father, for suddenly he was there beside her.
“Darlei, daughter.” His hand on her hair was not unkind. “You must get hold of yourself. This will not do.”
Darlei said nothing. She could not speak.
“Do you love him, that young man?”
Love.Could the meaning of the word even approach what she felt for Deathan?
“Life is not easy, daughter, and often not as we would choose.” His hand still rested on her hair. “The path ahead of you is cast. You have done right to obey the king.”
Was that what he thought she had done? Was it, truly?
“It will go well for our people to be in King Kenneth’s favor. So if you have made a sacrifice, it is a worthy one.”
She had not sacrificed for her people. For him, only forhim.
“But you are a princess and must behave like one. Now call upon your pride and make up your mind to accept your fate gracefully.”
Pride, yes, she’d always had that. Could it see her forward?
She had chosen this. Could she be woman enough to live with it?
She pictured Deathan riding away through the rain. Returning to the settlement he loved so well, the place beside the wide sea. She’d once rued the necessity of spending her life there.
Now she could imagine nothing better, so long as it was with him.
His trail lay in one direction and hers another. Blessed she had been that their trails had ever crossed, that she’d known him for a time. Gazed into his eyes. Held him inside her.
She held him inside her still.
She sat up and mopped her eyes. That, if anything, would be her strength.
Chapter Forty-Two
