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‘What?’ She sat forward in her chair.
He gestured towards her. ‘You did me an enormous favour today. And there’s always a chance I might ask it of you again. If that’s okay with you, of course.’
She nodded automatically before she really had time to think about it. Her brain was screaming No at her. But her heart had overruled her head in milliseconds.
Caution still niggled at her. Once she agreed a surgery date she’d be in hospital for a few days. She might not be able to drive for a few weeks after. She chose her words carefully. ‘Do you really think that’s a good idea? It’s really important right now that you and Finn get a chance to bond. I think me being around could complicate matters.’ She was trying to steal herself away in the easiest way possible.
Riley didn’t seem to pick up on her cautionary words.
He held up his hands and looked around. ‘I’m only asking you to be a second contact for Finn in case of emergency. Situations like today are unlikely to happen again. I just need a second number. You can do that, can’t you? I think it’s most important for Finn right now to be around people he can trust. Isn’t it?’
She swallowed. When he said it out loud it made perfect sense. If she argued now it would make her look petty and small, and it might mean that Riley would ask more difficult questions. She gave a brief nod. ‘Okay, fine. You’ve got my number. You can use it.’
He smiled. ‘Perfect, thank you.’ Then he looked around. ‘Since I’m trusting you with my son, I think we should get to know each other a little better. I’ve never been in here before. I only knew where you live because you came with me to pick up Finn. I feel as if I’m doing this all back to front.’
She shook her head. ‘What are you talking about?’
‘Okay. Tell me something about yourself. You picked up Finn today because you were the one person I could think of to phone—to trust with my child. But are we really even friends?’
Her stomach coiled. He was right. How well did they really know each other? What kind of movies did he like? What kind of food? Instinctively she felt as if Riley needed a giant bear hug. A simple show of affection because he’d had a bad day and was feeling so confused about things. That was the kind of thing you would do for a loved one—or for a friend.
But there was a prickliness to him. An edge. As if he just didn’t know where he was in this life.
She recognised it because she’d worn it herself for so long.
It was almost like staring into a mirror and it made her heart flip over. Because, no matter how hard she tried to convince herself, she didn’t think of Riley as a friend. It felt like so much more.
‘I...I...think we’re friends,’ she said hesitantly, almost as if she were trying the word out for size. Why was that? Was it because saying she was Riley’s ‘friend’ out loud didn’t seem quite adequate?
He gave a nod. ‘I would say so too. But we have gaps. We have bits missing.’ He gave the tiniest wince. He already knew she hadn’t talked about her sister much. Was he going to try to push her to talk more?
But he didn’t. He just held up his hand towards her. ‘Tell me something—’ he paused ‘—not related to work. For example—’ he frowned, as if trying to think of something himself ‘—tell me something most people wouldn’t know about you. Like when I was a kid—’ he put his hand on his chest and looked a bit sheepish ‘—I caused a panic on a beach once by saying I’d seen a shark. Truth was, I didn’t want to swim in the sea but didn’t want my brother to know.’
Her mouth fell open. ‘What?’ She wrinkled her brow and leaned forward. ‘Riley Callaghan, were you scared?’
He winked. ‘My lips are sealed. I’ll never tell. Now, your turn.’
She racked her brain for something equally odd. It was hard being put on the spot. After a few seconds something came to mind. ‘Okay, I once tried to steal a chocolate bar from a shop. But I chickened out when my sister saw me.’
From the expression on his face that was the last thing he’d expected. He leaned forward. ‘You? Really?’
Now she felt ridiculous. Where on earth had that come from?
She just nodded.
‘Why?’
She threw up her hands. ‘I don’t know. I just wanted it, I suppose.’
Riley shook his head. ‘What age were you?’ He wasn’t going to let this go.
‘Five,’ she snapped.
Now, he laughed. ‘Okay, that was random...and unexpected.’ His hand crept towards the now cold cheese on toast. ‘Tell me about your sister?’
Her skin prickled. ‘What about her?’
‘Let’s start with her name.’
She wanted to change the subject. Her brain started thinking of random questions to throw at him.
Who was the first girl you slept with? was the one that danced around inside her head. But she didn’t want to ask that. She didn’t want to know that.
She imagined herself pulling on her big-girl pants.
‘Mallory’ was what she finally said.
He looked thoughtful. ‘April and Mallory. Nice names, quite unusual.’
She nodded. ‘My mother thought so. She picked April and my dad picked Mallory.’
‘Ah, so they took turns? Interesting.’
She opened her mouth to say no. Then stopped. She hadn’t told him Mallory was her twin. And she didn’t want to. Not when she could guess where this conversation might lead.
‘So you said that Mallory died eighteen months ago. I’m sorry. What happened?’
This was the second time he’d asked her. She tried not to let her voice shake, but she certai
nly couldn’t meet his gaze. ‘Mallory had cancer.’
‘Oh. That’s terrible. What kind?’
He hadn’t missed a beat. She squeezed her eyes closed, just for a millisecond. He couldn’t know the rest of what was going on in her head. He couldn’t know the connections.
‘Ovarian cancer,’ she said quickly. ‘She was unlucky.’
He pulled back a little. ‘She was young.’
‘Lots of people die young. It’s a fact of life. Look at Isabel.’
It was a little bit cruel to turn it back around. But she needed to. She didn’t want to have this conversation at all.
All it was doing was reinforcing the gulf that was between them. How far apart they really were.
The dreams of motherhood she’d felt earlier while looking at Finn? She had to push them away for now. Her stomach gave another twinge.
That was a few times that had happened now. What if it was...something?
It was as if the temperature had just plummeted in her flat to freezing. One hand went automatically to her arm, rubbing up and down.
She was being ridiculous. It was nothing. Surgery was to be scheduled in the New Year. She always experienced painful periods. She often experienced ovulation pain too. It was just that. It must be.
Riley tilted his head and looked at her curiously—maybe even with a little disappointment. ‘I guess you’re right. It’s still sad. For all parties.’
‘I know.’ It was a blunt response. But she just didn’t want to go down this road.
He sucked in a deep breath. ‘I’m going to be staying. I’m going to be staying at Waterloo Court for now and thinking about other options. We could be working together for a long time.’
