His hands came up to rest on my forearms, and I felt the warmth of his palms through my shirt. I swayed forward as if drawn by gravity, and for a moment, I thought he might close the distance between us and I wanted him to so badly my wolf was practically howling. The tension crackled between us and goosebumps sprawled over my arms.
But then he stepped back, and my hands fell away.
"I should try to sleep," he told me.
"Yeah," I managed. "Me too."
I watched him go upstairs, then stood alone in my kitchen with my wolf whining at the distance between us and our mate.
Sleep didn't come.
I lay in bed, staring at the ceiling, knowing Parker was just down the hall. He was so close and wearing my clothes, but he was still too far away. The storm had passed, but the real chaos was inside me. My wolf wanted to go to him and make sure he was really okay. But he also wanted to claim him and I couldn't allow that.
Parker was human, and he didn't know shifters existed, and I had no idea how to tell him that my wolf had recognized him as my fated mate. Besides, he got a choice in whether he wanted to be with me and wear my mark for life. It was a huge ask and we were on the first rung of a very long ladder.
In the early hours of the morning, I gave up on sleep. I pulled on sweatpants and a t-shirt and padded downstairs, thinking I'd make coffee or stare at the weather models on my laptop. Anything to quiet my mind.
The kitchen light was already on.
Parker stood at the counter in my borrowed clothes, a mug of something in his hands. He gasped as I entered. Shoot, he'd been through a lot and I'd scared him.
"I didn't hear you come in."
My wolf demanded I comfort him but I couldn't rush over and hug him.
"Couldn't sleep either?"
"No." I moved to fill the kettle.
He leaned against the counter. "Every time I close my eyes, I see that water and feel it pulling me under and smothering me."
My wolf whined at the fear in his voice and demanded I comfort our mate.
"It must have been terrifying." And I'd made it worse. I'd never forgive myself for the pain I'd caused him.
"I'm here because of that wolf." He shook his head. "I still can't believe it. Where did it come from and why would a wolf be out in a hurricane?"
Guilt twisted in my gut. "Animals do strange things in storms. It's their survival instinct."
"I guess." He was quiet for a moment. "I keep thinking about what you said. About how I could have died. You were right. It was reckless."
"I shouldn't have said it like that. Not right after it happened." I ran a hand through my hair. "I was terrified, Parker. Watching you fall, not knowing if you'd survive. I've never been that scared in my life."
"Why?" He jerked his head up and stared at me.
This was the moment where I could tell him the truth, or some version of it, where I could explain why my reaction had been so extreme.
"Because," The words caught in my throat. My wolf pushed at me, needing Parker to know. "Because I care about you, more than I should. And not just as a colleague."
Parker didn't say anything though spots of pink appeared on his cheeks. Instead, he studied what was in his cup. His fingers white-knuckled the hard ceramic and I couldn't tell if that was a hard no or if he felt even a smidgen of what I did.
"I've been trying not to," I continued, the words coming faster now. "We work together so it's complicated, and I didn't think you'd be interested. But then you fell, and all I could think was that I couldn't lose you. That the thought of you getting hurt was worse than anything else."
He didn't speak. He stood there, making me work for every word.
"I like you, Parker. Not as a colleague. I have feelings for you as in romantic feelings." The admission was similar to jumping off a cliff. "And I know the timing is terrible, and you probably don't feel the same way, but I needed you to know. That's why I reacted the way I did. That's why I can't stand the thought of you being in danger."
The words tumbled out but I couldn't read Parker's expression. If he turned me down, I couldn't work at the station and I'd have to look for another job on the other side of the country. My wolf was expecting Parker to reject me.
