“Joss,” he said, and I licked my lips. He followed the path of my tongue, though I didn’t think he noticed he did. Or maybe he did. I didn’t actually know what he was thinking, and I desperately needed to.
“Joss, I …” he said, trailing off.
“Yes?”
His stare drifted toward the wall behind my bed before returning to mine. “Before you …” He sighed heavily. “This is never gonna get easier to talk about, is it?”
Since I didn’t know what exactly the hell he was referring to, I didn’t answer, hoping he’d continue all on his own instead, and that he’d hurry the hell up while he was at it.
Again, he sighed. “Before you died …” Anger suddenly shrouded his eyes. “No, that’s not right either. Before that fucking sonofabitchkilledyou, fuckingmurderedyou, and I don’t care one single shit that he thought you’d come back. Before that, you said something to me. You said—”
“I remember.”
His mouth twitched. He swallowed again.
Holy shit.Griffin Conway, who was smooth as silk and cool as ice, was fuckingnervous.
Had I not been so interested in what he was going to say next, I might have drawn out the topic a bit, seen how long I could enjoy seeing him hopping around on proverbial hot coals.
But I was all but dying all over again to hear his next words.
His brows furrowed as his eyes seared their intensity into mine. “And you remember what I told you before I went over the cliff in Clyde?”
“Of course.” My response was barely a whisper. Jitters wriggled beneath my skin, erasing everything about my circumstances but him.
“And what do you think?”
“About what you said?” I asked, tipping my head to one side in confusion. “Or about what I said?”
“Both.”
“I know what I meant by what I said. I can only guess at what you meant.” Never in my life had I been so obtuse with the man. Our friendship had always been easy, blunt, straightforward. Fuck, had I already ruined that?
“And what did you mean by what you said to me?” he asked. “Did you mean that you love me as a friend or … ?”
There. It was out in the open. The fucker had put it all on me. Though, to be fair, he’d said the words to me first. Maybe this made us even.
His stare was unrelenting, and eventually I closed my eyes just to escape it for a moment while my insides melted and then clenched and then melted all over again.
Of course I knew my answer. How could I not, when now that I was being truthful with myself, I’d been in love with the man for months, probably even years? But once I confirmed my feelings, there’d be no going back. No more chance at claiming a platonic affection.
For fuck’s sake, Joss, you just survived literal death. You’ve never been a coward before. Now’s not the time to start being one.
Before I could chicken out, I snapped open my eyes and said, “I meant that I’min lovewith you.”
The declaration was softer than I’d wanted, as if at the last moment a part of me had tried not to lay out my already clenching heart on the bed between us, a pulsing, aching, bloody, pulpy mess.
His breath hitched before he released a long, loud exhale. “Oh my God, Joss, I—”
The door to the room swung open. Layla and Hunt hobbled in, leaning on walking sticks and taking steps that were slow, careful, gentle. Brady, only slightly less spritely than his usual self, entered behind them, closing the door.
I’d forever be happy to know all three of them were alive and well, but right then I wanted to scream at them to leave and come back in ten minutes.Just ten measly minutes. Even one would maybe have been enough.
But Griffin had already turned to face them, breaking the moment between us, when Layla called out in a slightly hoarse voice, “Holy fuckballs, Joss! You’re finally awake. You about had us losing our shit when you wouldn’t wake the fuck up.”
Forcing myself to accept that Griffin would know exactly how I felt while I’d now have to wait to find out what he thought, I directed my attention to experiencing my genuine relief. It was there, for certain it was. Despite all odds, life had taken the nuttiest of turns for us all. And the five of us—my best friends, my crew, my family—had survived a small army’s assault.
Every single one of us was gloriously alive.
