I glanced at Griffin, whose jaw was just as tight as Hunt’s as his gaze flicked to Tracy.
“Did you ever even meet the man whose sperm was used to create me?” Hunt pressed.
“Not in person then, no,” Marisa replied so softly I realized that never in our shared time together had I heard her be this timid. I’d always thought of her as at least a little bit fierce.
“You know who he is though?”
After a quick look at the others, Marisa nodded. “Yes, but he, along with the other sperm and egg donors, requested his information be kept private. He’s not looking to be contacted.”
“Of course he’s not,” Hunt said, working to eradicate any hint of emotion from his voice. Then he looked over at us, a silent request to divert the attention away from him.
Right away, Layla, never one to do anything halfway, clapped her hands, and Bobo barked once; I patted his head to calm him. “Now that all thatfunis under our belts, and we know what names to use when we cuss you the hell out later, what do you need us to do for dear,dearMagnum?”
A few of the adults cringed at Layla’s thick sarcasm, but for the most part they seemed relieved to get on track. They beckoned us over, and Jude called out, “Joss, you’re with me.”
With Bobo at my side, his claws clacking against the tile floor, I sat gingerly on the stool Jude extended for me. This close to the man I’d so long believed to be my loving father, I couldn’t wait to get away.
He turned to his workstation to pull up on his computer what was very evidently my file—thanks to the large color photo of me—and then stood to lift my sleeve and attach a blood pressure cuff around my arm. While he waited for it to inflate, he stared at me and petted Bobo’s head.
When his attention heated to feel like a brand against my skin, I said, “Do ya mind, Jude?”
He startled, but I couldn’t figure out if it was because I’d called him by his given name or just that he’d been lost in thought.
“You’re all up in my business,” I added.
He jerked his head as if to clear it, studied the readout on the cuff, then made notes into his computer before removing the cuff.
When he waved a thermometer across my forehead, my nose scrunched. “Isn’t this a bit … basic? I thought you’d be, well, I dunno. But not this.”
“Your vitals tell us a lot about how your body’s reacting to new situations and stimuli. But yes, we’ll quickly advance to other, let’s say,measurements.”
The way he enunciated the word so carefully felt ominous.
When he was flashing a penlight onto my eyeballs, he lowered his voice. “I know you don’t want to hear this”—I tensed—“but I truly allowed myself to believe you were my daughter. I-I love you, Joss.”
I love you too, Dadsat on my tongue, so very ready to slip out, until I tugged it back.Stupid. This man wasnotmy father, never had been.
That didn’t stop my heart from feeling what it felt.
“I don’t want you to ever doubt that,” he continued. “I understand you’re angry now and feel betrayed. I get that, I really do.”
As soon as he clicked the light off, I shut my eyes to put whatever barrier I could between him and my raw emotions.
“But just … later, if you ever can, please know that I truly do love you, so very much.”
I cleared the thickness gathering in my throat but refused to open my eyes.
Even more softly now, a hint of defeat in his words, he said, “If you ever want to talk or, I don’t know, whatever, I’ll always be here for you. Even if it’s years from now, and even if you don’t exactly love the idea right now, in my heart I’ll always think of you as my daughter. And … and …”
When he only trailed off, I eventually peered up at him, my eyes glistening in a way I didn’t want him to notice. He never got to see me vulnerable again—never.
“I—we—all want to help you,” he whispered as he tucked his mouth toward his chest and reached for my wrist to take my pulse.
It sped up.
He barely breathed: “We’re being watched even more closely than you are.”
Probably in response to my distress and Jude’s, Bobo inserted his head between us and planted it on my lap.
