Fanny chortled darkly. “Magnum is the greatest gift ever sent to humanity. The Aquoians and their stupid Sky People… They don’t recognize a god when he walks among them!”
“Wait,” Layla said. “What? Uncle Magnum’s agod?”
Fanny rolled her eyes. “Magnum is as close to a god as anyone who walks this Earth is going to get. Closer than the bunch of you, that’s for sure.”
“Well, duh,” Layla said. “We’re not gods.” She snorted. “Obviously.”
Fanny threw up both hands, including the one with the gun. Her index finger remained alarmingly close to the trigger. “That’s what I keep telling everyone! Just because you can do some things Magnum can’t doesn’t make you any better than he is. He’s … he’s humanity’s salvation. All he ever tries to do is help humans. Help, help, help. He gives, gives, gives, and gives some more. And you selfish bastards defy him at every turn. You’re selfish spoiled brats, and one of these times we get to kill you, you’re going to stay dead.”
It wasn’t part of our act when the five of us took a big step backward. Hunt grabbed Bobo by the collar and shuffled him back with us. Bobo didn’t so much as pause in his snarls, his fierce stare pinned on the crazy lady in Birks with socks.
Layla made a show of looking at the rest of us. “Uh, guys … do you have any clue what the fuck she’s talking about? I’m so lost.”
“That’s ’cause you’re the biggest idiots this Earth has ever seen,” Fanny shouted. “Your powers are wasted on you. Magnum should haveall of them.”
Her eyes glittered with avarice. Or maybe that was insanity. How had we ever believed she might be an ally, however brief that hope had lasted?
“I don’t know what she’s talking ’bout,” Brady snapped, “but I do hear her saying, loud and clear, that she wants us all dead. So, Fanny, get the fuck away from all of us. Right the hell now.”
Fanny stared at us for a good ten seconds before laughing.
The five of us, and Hunt still pulling Bobo, took another big step back. There wasn’t much retreat left before we hit bushes at our backs, and a puddle of my upchucked chicken salad behind them.
Finally, Fanny said, “You all really are dim-witted, aren’t you?”
“Hey,” Layla protested. “Watch it.”
“Or what?” Fanny gave a little twisted smile that made a shudder run through me and—fina-fucking-lly—brought the gun to her side.
I breathed a little easier.
Without turning to look at them, Fanny barked at the soldiers, “All of you. In the cars with the doors shut and windows up. Now.”
Without so much as a squeak of protest, the goons obeyed. When the last door pulled closed, Fanny turned to verify their compliance. With a flaring swirl of her skirt, she studied us.
“Maybe I’ve been going about this wrong,” she said.
“Oh? What makes you say so?” Layla said, slathering on snark thick as goopy icing.
“Ha, ha. You always think you’resofunny.”
“Actually, not really. I’m just confused. I thought you liked us. But you just said you want us dead, and we can’t seem to leave town, so yeah, I’m actually freaking the fuck out. I’d really like it if you’d just let us go.”
“I’m not letting you go anywhere.”
“Then take us to Uncle Magnum,” Hunt said, releasing his grip on Bobo’s collar.
Fanny’s smile shifted to adoration. The hard glint in her eyes softened to dreamy. “I can see why you’d believe he’ll help you. He’s incredibly magnanimous. And that’s why I’m not going to kill you today.”
“Gee, thanks a bunch,” Layla said, with more of that snark icing dripping from her words.
“Watch your mouth, young lady, or I’ll watch it for you.”
“I don’t even know what that means.”
“Because you don’t know much. And part of that’s not your fault. Much of it is, but your lack of understanding isn’t entirely thanks to your mind-boggling inability to see the bigger picture.”
Layla said into our bond.
