I told myself I didn’t enjoy when it came to this. When I had no other choice than to hurt to protect myself. But the truth was, somewhere along the way, that became a lie. A silent thrill curled beneath the fear. Predators hunted those they thought weak. People like me. People no one would miss. But I wasn’t weak. My mum and Anhe Fei had seen to that.
The man’s footsteps grew louder. Closer. I kept my steps even as I waited, listening to his heavy breath as it drew near.
Then, as if it was the most natural thing in the world, his hand slid onto my bottom. His fingers dug into the material of my jeans, touching me like I was nothing but dirt on thesidewalk he wanted to shove into his pocket. My throat clenched with disgust.
“Oi, little girl! Do you wanna?—”
The knife shifted between my fingers, and I plunged the blade into his side. Not deep enough to kill. Just deep enough to teach a lesson. Do. Not. Touch. Me. His breath caught.
Don’t look them in the eye, my mum’s voice whispered.
But I did.
I watched recognition and terror corrupt his face like a bruise under his hood, and it filled me with satisfaction. But I stepped back, not wanting to breathe the same air he was. Once. Twice, before vanishing into the arms of the night.
He shouted—something crude, I was sure of it—but I was already gone, turning the next corner, leaving him behind, like the dirt on the sidewalk he was.
I didn’t stop running until I was three streets away.
Only then did I lean against a brick wall, pressing my palm to my chest, feeling the tremble in my ribs. One slip, and I might’ve killed him. One mistake, and my life would’ve been ruined.
I wiped my hands on my trousers and made sure there was no trace of crimson before I slid the penknife back into its place. I wasn’t a killer. But the world tried very hard to make me one.
Strike and survive. There was no place for questions if the situation even remotely made you consider fighting. That was the rule. That’s how I was still here, walking and breathing.
The street was quiet now. The danger had passed. The shadow hadn’t followed me, yet I felt its presence as I continued down the street, letting the night wrap around me again.
Something cold landed on my cheek as I passed under a lamp post, and I gazed up at the sky—voided and grey—wiping the first tear of rain off my skin.
CHAPTER TWO
ELODIE
Iwas ten minutes late when I slipped into the Drunken Lion’s Pub, a place squeezed into the damp bones of a two-storey brick house like it had been wedged there by time itself. The floor was slick with mud and beer and something more uncertain, and I nearly lost my footing as I ducked inside.
The air hit me like a backhand, thick with the stench of stale drink and something sour beneath. I kept my head low and my coat tight as I threaded toward the back, hoping to change before anyone noticed my absence. Luckily, the regulars were already too deep in their pints to bother lifting their heads. I was halfway past the crowded round tables when a low, gravelly voice stopped me cold.
“Elodie.”
I turned as Dougie, the bear-like bouncer, cornered me.
“You’re late again.” He didn’t come too close, but still, I could smell the cheap lager evaporating off him. “Don’t ya tell me it’s female problems again. You had that last week. Tony said if you lie one more time, I’ve gotta boot you out.”
I bit the inside of my cheek hard enough to taste copper. It seemed the men here were getting smarter. Unfortunate.
“This was the last time,” I said, my tone just soft enough to sound sincere. “Just let me start my shift.”
He scratched the side of his head with one of his massive palms, squinting at me with the sort of expression that suggested thought didn’t come easily to him. Then he slowly nodded.
I turned to go?—
“For tonight’s tips.”
My spine stiffened. I glanced back to find his eyes glinting in the pub’s dim light, smugness curling in their corners.
“Or I can call Tony now,” he added, and my nostrils flared.
There it was. A choice that wasn’t a choice at all. The kind the world seemed so fond of offering girls like me. I could almost feel the cold breath of winter waiting outside, licking its lips. I needed every pence I could scrape together to keep that ratbag landlord of mine from padlocking the door.
