“Anything you want, Ellie.” I fight the smile trying to form on my face. He sounds so excited, and he suddenly looks 5 years younger, but I can’t let him off the hook that easily. Not just yet, anyway.
“I don’t want to hear about them at all. I don’t care how sorry they are, or how much they miss me.”
Yes I do.
“And I don’t want them to know that we’re hanging out. I swear to God if you try to ambush me–”
“I won’t, I promise,” he says firmly. “Like I said, I haven’t seen them either. I just want my friend back.”
It’s so terrifying to consider letting even one of them back in my life that I almost consider taking it all back, but his puppy dog eyes, so sad and heartfelt, eliminate the last of my defenses.
“Okay,” I say with a genuine smile.
“Okay,” he says back, with a bigger grin than I’ve ever seen from him. “How have you been?”
My smile immediately drops, and his eyes go wide with panic.
“That was a stupid question, forget I asked,” he stammers hurriedly.
“No, it’s okay,” I say with a wave of my hand. “It’s been hard. I’ve been really lonely.”
It hits me how true those words are as I say them out loud. I don’t think I’ve ever been lonely in my whole life–I’ve always had Abby, or my parents, or any of the other classmates I made friends with throughout the years.
Even though I know it’s objectively not true, this is the first time that I’ve ever felt like I’ve got no one. A hot pressure builds behind my eyes and I’m horrified to realize that if I don’t stop talking, I’m going to cry. Shoving those feelings down as far as they’ll go, I quickly change the subject.
“Anyway, I don’t really have anything interesting to share. What’s been going on with you?”
We sit there and catch up for what must be hours, because my dad calls to ask whether I’ve been kidnapped or simply decided to run away from home.
With a laugh, I let him know I’m fine and that Jack will give me a ride home. His face lights up when he hears that, and a tiny ray of light breaks through the cloudy gloom in my heart.
It feels wonderfully familiar to be back in Jack’s passenger seat as we take the long way home. I look out the window to hide my smile–I don’t want him to know that I’ve clocked the route he chose. He’s not the only one savoring the few extra minutes together.
When we reach my house, he gets out to give me a hug–it’s full of regret, relief, and love all at once. As I walk up the path to my front door, I’m on the verge of tears again, but this time, they’re happy ones.
Chapter 13
Griffin
July, Age 16
“Griffin, you need to get out of the house.”
I roll over to face my dad, who’s standing in my bedroom doorway with a severe look on his face that tells me he means business.
“What?”
“I mean it, son. You haven’t left this room all summer. Get your ass up and go get some fresh air.” His face softens, and he continues in a gentler tone, “Now listen here, I’ve been giving you your privacy, but don’t think I haven’t noticed how quiet the house has been.”
I stare at him blankly, waiting for him to make his point so I can get back to staring at nothing.
“I don’t know what’s going on, but I do know that you boys have been friends long enough to figure it out. You need to apologize, or forgive–or both, I don’t know the story here.”
For a second I think he might let me off the hook about Eleanor, but no such luck.
“I would also strongly recommend you patch things up with that young lady,” he says, pointing his finger at me. “She’s a darling, and you need to fix whatever you did.”
“What makes you think I’m the one who did something?”
