David’s scowl has also changed to a face of concentration. “Yeah, I think that’s manageable. Ellielovesher birthday.”
We get to planning, and I hope desperately that this can be the first step in building a bridge again.
Chapter 18
Ellie
November, 16th Birthday
I’m sixteen today. Anyone who knows me knows that Ilovemy birthday, but I usually keep things low-key at school—I save the celebrating for just my family and Abby.
Unfortunately Abby does not operate this way, so everyone at Larkspur High is aware that it’s my birthday before the first bell rings for the day.
By third period, I’ve said ‘thank you’ so many times it doesn’t sound like a real phrase anymore. I’m not a shy person, but I’m also never the center of attention either, so having this much focus on me is a little jarring.
I kinda like it though,I think to myself as what feels like the 200th person acknowledges my birthday.Maybe I should be the center of attention more often. This is fun.
This might be my favorite birthday ever. All day long, I’ve gotten hugs and compliments, and even a red velvet cupcake (my favorite) from my sweet physics teacher.
I’m still riding the birthday high as I head to my final class of the day. It fades quickly though, and walking to Spanish II feels like a death march.
This year, I opted for the desk on the polar opposite side of the room from last year. When the boys walked in on the first day of school, they went straight to their old spots, like they were operating on muscle memory.
Even though I wasn’t looking at them, they were as loud as ever, so hearing them was unavoidable–and I could definitely hear when they stopped talking. I tried sneaking a subtle glance, and found the three of them staring at me.
Griffin and David looked away immediately, with the same energy as a dog walking away with its tail between its legs. Jack held my gaze, smiling at me a bit sadly before turning around to rejoin their conversation.
That was the first and only interaction we’ve had this year. I always get to class first, and make it a point to stare at my desk, avoiding eye contact with anyone until I’m certain they’re in their seats.
Today is different. First and foremost, I was nearly the last person to walk into class because I was stopped so many times during my trip from physics to Spanish.
I didn’t want to risk catching anyone’s eye—especially Griffin—so I kept my gaze on my shoes until I made it to my seat. Once I finally looked up, my jaw dropped.
An arrangement of flowers sits on my desk–a beautiful combination of violet irises, baby pink roses, and white freesias that has obviously been carefully crafted. It’s not lost on me that only one person in this room has ever heard me talk about what my favorite flowers are.
Beside it sits a party hat, and when I look around the room, I notice everyone is donning a matching one. I pick up the handmade card placed in the bouquet, and find signatures from nearly everyone in the room. One name is noticeably absent.
Did he do that so I wouldn’t get upset? Did he do it because he’s hurting just as much as me?
I turn to face the room, and they immediately break out in a Happy Birthday chorus. A burning sensation builds behind my eyes, and I blink rapidly to stop the tears trying to form.
I don’t know why I’m suddenly overcome with emotion–maybe it has something to do with the fact that two of the people Iknoworchestrated this surprise are ones I haven’t talked to in six months.
I’m still angry and hurt. This doesn’t change anything for me. But for the first time this year, I look over at Griffin, David, and Jack on purpose, and the overwhelming emotion isn’t anger. It’s…something else.
Somehow, it’s something worse.
I mouth a silent *thank you*to them with a hesitant smile before finally taking my seat.
It occurs to me later that night when I’m celebrating with Abby that what I was feeling instead of anger was sadness. Except it wasn’t sadness exactly–it was more like being homesick.
Earlier this week, my mom asked me if I wanted to invite the boys over to join us for dinner and cake.
I whipped around when she said that, snapping way too harshly, “Why would you say that? It’s always just us and Abby.”
She looked beyond taken aback at my response. I’ve never snapped at my mom about anything, let alone my birthday.
“Calm down angel, I just know you’ve spent a lot of time with them, but I haven’t heard anything about them lately.”
