“Sorry to have kept you waiting,” I say with a lighthearted attempt at flirting. Is that flirting? Maybe it’s just teasing. Something about it always feels unnatural with Katie. Whatever you want to call it, it makes her smile.
“You seem like the kind of guy worth waiting for.”
She’s also sweet, albeit a little serious. There’s no back and forth, no mutual teasing. Just matter-of-fact communication.
That’ll take some getting used to.
I don’t have to wonder what’s happening between us. Everything is straightforward here. I like her, she likes me, we’re having a good time.
This is good for you, Griffin. Just a nice, easy relationship with a girl who’s been very clear about her feelings.
Even the thought of the word relationship makes me uneasy, but that’s where this is heading. We’ve spent enough time together now that it’s a little weird that I haven’t asked her to be my girlfriend.
Every time I get close, something in me freezes up and I can’t bring myself to do it. I tell myself it’s because it’s too soon, and she hasn’t met my friends yet, and school has been busy. But I know I either need to commit or cut it off.
Cutting it off opens the door for someone else. But committing is a sure thing here. It’s the smart choice, the right choice.
“Listen Katie, we’ve been on a few dates now, and I think you’re great,” I say.
To my surprise, her face falls.
“But you don’t want to see me anymore,” she says in a quiet voice.
Yes.
“No, that’s not it at all,” I stammer out before I can change my mind. “The opposite actually, I think we should make it official.”
The second it leaves my mouth I regret it. I don’t really mean it, and this is unfair to her. I know I’m about to be shitty, but when I open my mouth to take it back, the look on her face stops me.
She looks like a kid on Christmas.
“I’d like that a lot,” she says excitedly, beaming at me. “God, I’ve had a crush on you for so long, I never thought this would actually happen.”
“I’m glad I made you happy,” I say, and I mean it. I am glad she’s happy. And I think with time I can be that happy too. This is going to work. This is going to begreat.
After paying the bill, we make our way out of the restaurant to where my truck is parked. I walk her to the passenger side, opening the door for her like the gentleman my dad raised me to be.
She lingers for a moment, looking up at me, pulling her bottom lip between her teeth.
For a second I can’t figure out why she’s not getting in the truck, and then it hits me.
She’s waiting for me to kiss her.
Despite having gone on multiple dates, I still haven’t done more than hug her goodnight. But now that she’s my girlfriend…
I tilt my head down, placing a soft kiss on her mouth. I wait for something,anything.There are no fireworks, no butterflies, no going weak in the knees.
At least not on my end. But when I pull back, I see a flush in her cheeks, and she avoids eye contact bashfully as she climbs into the seat.
I give her another peck for good measure, hoping that maybe I’ll feel a little more of a spark this time. There’s nothing. I close the door, walking around to the driver’s side less like someone who just kissed his girlfriend for the first time and more like someone walking the green mile.
The whole drive back to her house, I silently berate myself. This is good. This is normal. This is healthy.
Give it time, Griffin. Not everything has to be like wildfire. Slow and steady can be good, too.
No matter how hard I try to shove it from my mind, all I can think about the rest of the drive home is the kiss that altered my entire psyche, and the girl I shared it with.
***
