Those words play on a constant loop in the back of my mind. Even when I’m not consciously thinking about him, the part of my heart that I tarnished two years ago is still palpable.
“When are we seeing Jack?” I ask, desperate to get out of my own head. “Are he and Aaron still attached at the hip?”
“I swear Ellie Bellie, my boyfriend got himself a boyfriend,” she says, rolling her eyes. “I’m a third wheel in my own relationship. Reiterating my point–Thank. God. You’re. Home.”
Laughing, I thank the waitress as she hands me our bill, quickly tipping and signing the receipt as Abby stands. “We can see him tonight,” she says with a toss of her auburn curls over her shoulder. “He’ll probably be there when we get home.”
My heart swells in anticipation of being reunited with my dearest Jacky boy. We text pretty often when I’m away, but it’s not enough. I haven’t even told him about thephone call. My smile falters as Abby slams her door shut and turns the key in the ignition. Talking about Griffin is going to be unavoidable–hopefullyseeinghim won’t be.
***
My jaw drops, eyes blinking rapidly as I stare dumbfounded at the notification on my phone.
David:*Poltergeist gif”
David:We’re baaaaack >:)
Jack: Sorry, who’s this?
David:Don’t be a dick
David:Me and Griffin just got back for the summer, when are we getting together?
I must be dreaming. Or David must be experiencing some sort of amnesia, because there’s no way he’s reactivating this group chat after two years of being dormant.
More importantly, getting back from where?
Griffin:Wait what
Jack:I didn’t even know we still had this group chat
David:Oh shit *gif of Homer Simpson disappearing into the bushes*
Heart in my stomach, I wait for another text that doesn’t come. Then I realize that David just meant to text the boys. It wasn’t some chaotic attempt to make us all be friends again–he just used the wrong group chat. Somehow that’s infinitely more painful.
Well, we know that Griffin’s phone does in fact work.
After March, I had this monumentally stupid hope that we might be able to rebuild something, anything, between us. When I never heard from him again, I tried to kid myself into thinking that maybe his phone broke, or he finally changed his number, or he accidentally deleted mine. Now I know the harsh truth with certainty–he hasnodesire to talk to me.
And for good reason.
My phone dings again with another text from David, but this time it’s just us.
David:Sorry Ellie Bellie
David:I’m an idiot
David:I do wanna see you though
Collapsing back onto my pillows and releasing a heavy sigh, I respond.
Ellie:You’re not an idiot
Ellie:Well, sometimes
Ellie:But not always
I hesitate before adding–
