“Yeah?”
“Good form.”
“Really? Staring at my ass give you that info?”
“I wasn’t,” he scoffs.
She frowns. “Oh. I was kinda hoping you were.”
He pauses, passing her the joint. “Then maybe I was.”
This is dangerous. The last remnants of his rational mind are quickly evaporating.
“Anyway, next time you have to try, too. That’s the deal,” she says suddenly, and he’s only grateful her attention is so easily shifted.
“Don’t remember any deal. I told you I’m too broken for that shit. Not limber like you.”
“You should consider yourself lucky. I’ve never asked anyone else to do yoga with me.”
“You’ve never done yoga before.”
“Details.” She rolls her head against the wall, staring at him curiously. “Lots of things I’ve never done or wanted to do with anyone but you. No one else knows me, Wade. Not really.”
“What about that pompous asshole from the waterfall place?”
“Luke? No. It wasn’t…like that with us.”
“Like what?”
She shrugs, grabbing one of the cans of peanut butter and jelly sandwiches and ripping the lid off to sniff it. “Wanna try it? Best time is when we’re high.”
“I could eat. Like what? You said it wasn’t like that with him.”
“Oh. Um…I dunno. It was easy. Fun for a little while. He wasn’t shy about showing that he liked me, and I was lonely and sad and…is that a spider?”
He follows her gaze up to the ceiling. “Looks like a blood splatter.”
“Oh. Good. Better than a spider.”
His heart sinks. Why the fuck did he ask that? He doesn’t want to hear about how much fun she had with some other guy. The last thing he wants now is to picture it.
“But fun doesn’t make a solid relationship,” she continues matter-of-factly, dipping her finger into the can to lick off the contents. “He only knew what I showed him.”
“And yet he developed such a fucking fixation on you. Not that I blame him.” He mimics her attempt at trying the food, only to find it doesn’t taste half bad.
“There was a very brief point right about a year after the turn when I just didn’t want to be alone. That’s all it was. Feltlike I failed you. It didn’t matter to him that I couldn’t love him back that way. I knew it wasn’t fair, but he made it seem like he accepted it. He deserves better, anyway. Someone who feels the same.”
He catches her gaze until she looks up from the joint to meet his eyes. “You never failed me.”
“Felt like I did.”
“You never gave up, though. Why?”
She shrugs, inhaling another puff that she holds in her lungs for a beat before exhaling. “I didn’t want to face a life without you in it. There was never any other option. I would find you or die trying.”
“I’m real glad you didn’t die trying.”
“Me too, because here you are,” a smile lifts her lips. “You and Cole were always made of rubber. I bet he’s still out there, too. Probably has a whole new family by now.”