She nods, helping him up and slipping her hand into his. “Let’s get out of here.”
His quick smile has her blushing at the thought of what they’d just done…and what she hopes he’ll do to her very, very soon.
She hasn’t told him the one secret she promised she’d confess, but she pushes that aside in favor of indulging. They’ve embraced one truth today and somehow the world didn’t end all over again.
She’s with the man she loves, racing toward the unknown after a first kiss that proved he loves her back.
Today, reality is far better than any dream.
Chapter 32
They’ve found a log cabin somewhere north of the mountain. There are solar panels on the roof and a little creek out back, perfect for washing up. After disposing of the three occupants, one flick of the light switch tells them they’ve struck gold.
It’s the first time they’ve seen electricity since leaving for this trip, but Wade is having a hard time focusing on that when all he can think of is what happened on that cliff.
Kara kissed him. One moment, they were facing what felt like certain death, and then her soft lips nestled against his, right where they belong. He hasn’t kissed anyone in as long as he can remember. That was painfully obvious when he became so over-eager that any hope of being skilled was quickly out of reach. He kissed her like a dying man searching for the promise of a last breath. Messy and tangled and without a hint of coordination. Pretty sure he hurt her at least once when he sucked on her lip too hard. He needs to be more careful next time.
Wade’s half worried that he’ll blink too fast and she’ll be gone, having only given him a taste of what he truly wants. That’s the thing about finally getting something he’s always dreamed of, his brain isn’t sure yet how to accept that it’s real.
She’s been watching him just as warily, as if she’s not sure where they go from here and fuck, if he isn’t stuck in the same damn question. In the heat of the moment, he ran on instinct.Now that they’re not in an adrenaline-fueled lip lock, things have simmered down.
He wants to kiss her again, but that doesn’t feel simple anymore. Doesn’t know how to make that leap from what they’ve been for so long into something else. That’s not even taking into account that the idea of intimate contact is now tainted by his time in captivity.
Admitting the obvious is harder than he thought it could be. He should tell her he’s clueless, so she doesn’t assume it’s disinterest. He’s no longer the man she knew before the world tore them apart. His confidence is gone, and it took any swagger and skill he had with it.
The elated laugh she gave in the car and the snug handhold they shared for several miles seems far in the past now. Awkwardness has crept up between them, festering and spreading, reminding him he’s no one’s boyfriend…significant other…lover. Not anymore. Maybe never again. What if he’s lost the ability to be what she needs? The version of himself she thought she was looking for all these years would have had her pinned up against the wall, clinging to his cock and moaning his name by now. Would have had her trembling and weak and seeing nothing but stars. Or maybe he is only kidding himself that any version of him could have made this leap with her so easily when they have so much history between them.
Perhaps she’s changed her mind, he thinks sadly, watching her check the kitchen cupboards one by one in this house that would have cost double his lifetime earnings before the turn, sliding him cautious glances in between pulling out various supplies.
He’s all the way across the room, poking at the fireplace for no fucking reason. Too busy manifesting imaginary scenarios where they either end up in that giant bed down the hall or he ruins any chance he ever had, and their friendship along with it.
“We got lucky with this place,” Kara says, spreading out ingredients on a counter.
“Yep. Yeah. We did.”
They can’t even talk, he thinks with a mental wince. They’re filling the silence with random, useless words. Then, she saves him like always by offering something to take their mind off the glaring situation at hand.
“Wanna bake something with me? We’ve got stuff for muffins.”
No. I don’t want to bake muffins. I want to carry you into that bedroom and strip you naked.
“Sure.” Is what he says instead, and they proceed with the torturous dance of ignoring what so badly needs to be addressed.
They’ve admitted such difficult truths already on that mountain. Now, something that should be simple has turned into another battle.
“Someone had to be making these supplies. Trading them.” She dumps a cup of flour into a bowl with a flourish. “Wouldn’t have lasted this long.”
“Do you think there’s another group close by?”
She flips open the pages of a cookbook found in a drawer. “I do, but I’m too hungry to worry about that right now. Those rotters weren’t fresh. If someone was coming to look for them, they’d have been here already.”
The very thought of another group sets him on edge. For now, they’re as safe as they can get, and there’s no reason not to make good use of all this power.
Suddenly, she looks up at him through long lashes, like his reply to her next question could reach into her chest and ruin her. “Are we okay?”
“Of course we are.” He’s done it now. Made her second-guess herself, him,themwith his own shifty behavior.
“Okay.”
