He said he wanted to keep trying, and this is as good a time as any. It’s not as difficult as he expects to pluck it gently from behind her ear. He goes slowly, and she waits patiently. Gives him those easy cat-like blinks that are more comforting than they have any right to be.
His fingers brush strands of dark hair as he pulls back, and while it’s not a full touch, it’s the closest he’s come while facing her.
“You always wanted a dog but you never got one,” she says absently.
“No. It just felt like setting myself up for the worst.”
“How do you mean?”
“No secret how it’s gonna end. Same way every time.”
She frowns. “That doesn’t mean that it’s not worth it.”
“Maybe. I had a little mouse in the cell. He’d sit in my hand every day,” he winces. “That’s weird, right? I shouldn’t have brought that up.”
“Animals are the best judges of character. It doesn’t surprise me that you were Cinderella for a while.”
He snorts, almost choking on his pasta at her joke, but the levity doesn’t last. “Not a good person, though. I’ve done things.”
“We’ve all done things, Wade. Whatever happened there, you did what you had to do to survive.”
He remembers the lives he took just to keep himself breathing because the only other option was to be on the wrong end of a weapon. How entertainment before they started moving every other week was putting prisoners in the pit to see who would make it out alive.
“Do you want to talk about it?” she asks softly. “I’ll listen.”
“No. Maybe someday, but not now.”
“Okay.”
“So this touching thing, is there some kinda number to aim for? What did the book say? Once a day? Ten times a day?”
She smiles. “As much as you want, but it’s good to start slow.”
“Once a day, then. Maybe twice, because the flower felt like it counted, but it’s early still and I want to try again later.”
“That sounds like a plan to me.”
“If you get sick of me trying to paw at you, just tell me to stop and I will.”
“I won’t get sick of it. It’s all I’ve wanted for six years.”
It’s all he’s wanted, too. All he dreamed of, all he soothed himself with during his worst moments. Now, he has her right here, willing to let him touch her however he pleases. He was easily overwhelmed just lacing their fingers together earlier. What comes next might be his complete undoing.
Chapter 11
Wade made her dinner today, left the house on his own and plucked a flower from her hair.
It’s been easy to let herself get lost in the sense of domesticity that’s blanketed them. Two people in a little house tucked away in the woods with a dog at their feet. Nothing to do but talk, eat…and touch.
She doesn’t push for when and how that should happen. That’s up to him. The ball is in his court but she can’t help but feel excited anticipation knowing he could try at any moment.
It could be something tiny and tender, or a giant leap all at once. Kara has no expectations. Whatever he can give is enough, but she isn’t prepared for how her own body has turned against her. A shiver of shame runs up her spine at knowing she’s been aroused all day. Her attraction to Wade is nothing new. It’s been the devil on her shoulder since they met. She was always able to tamp down her physical response to that, though. May have had a few moments of weakness over the years when she thought of him while finding relief, but even that was few and far between.
She has never been willing to risk their friendship in search of more, and if he’s ever felt desire for her, then he hid it well.
Now, the concept of him touching her at random has her worked up when it shouldn’t. This isn’t some elaborate game of foreplay. It’s far more important and a betrayal to the man across from her to entertain any fantasies, even for a moment.
They’re playing cards on the bed. Poker with no prizes. The dog followed them, limping along with his giant flip-flopping ears to rest on Kara’s floor mattress. They’ll have a hard time getting him off that later, she thinks, trying to focus on the fact that she’s losing this game instead of how she’s soaked.
