If anyone deserves better than the cards dealt him in this shit world, it’s Wade. How bad had it been all this time to turn him into what she sees now? How often had he cried, and she wasn’tthere to hold him? How many nights did he lie awake in pain that she couldn’t fix? How fucking close was he while she was out searching miles away, assuming him clear across state lines after all this time.
If Silas thinks this is an easy way to get her off his ass, then he’s dead wrong. Revenge is nearly as intoxicating as hope.
Traitorous tears pool in her eyes after she thought them all used up. “I missed you so much. I never stopped looking. Not ever.”
All she wants is to feel him, but there’s a room’s worth of distance between them now and that feels greater than however far apart they’d been before.
She sucks in a sniffle, wiping her face with an angry hand. “You’re safe here, I promise. You’re okay,we’re okay.I know you’re confused. I know you didn’t mean to hurt me.”
It’s all just nonsense barely reaching his ears. That’s fine, she thinks, only more determined.
He’s home now. She’s patient.
For the first time, she allows herself to really look at him, taking in the bruises and healed-over marks that litter his body. The two missing toes from his left foot and how his ribs spring on every inhale.
“Where have you been?” she whispers. “What happened to you?”
There’s a blanket on the floor he hasn’t touched, and it takes everything in her not to grab it and try to wrap him up again. She isn’t prepared for this. Doesn’t have a clue what to do or how to keep from making this worse. What would he do if their roles were reversed? If there’s any right answer here, she fails to find it. Only knows he’d never leave her, and she has every intention of waiting this out with him, too.
Outside, children scream in playful glee, the sound piercing through a preemptively boarded window, and she winces.There’s so much commotion here. So many people. It’s enough to have her on edge. She can’t imagine Wade’s doing much better.
She closes the curtains to block the sun and wishes it would block the noise, too.
There’s a bed in the corner that sits unused. A bathroom at the back of the room that she’s surprised he hasn’t escaped into yet. A glass of water on a side table, but nothing to eat.
“Food,” she says, mostly to herself. “I can do food. I’ll be back.”
She’ll be useful and fetch dinner, hoping he eats it, but having her doubts.
An awful band plays in the distance, complete with trumpet, and he shrinks further into himself as she heads for the door. This place has always been comically positive to a fault. There is always some festival or gathering. It helps people forget the world is gone outside the gates, Luke told her when she first arrived, asking for shelter so many years ago. It grated on her nerves then, like it does now. All she has ever wanted is peace and quiet.
One thing is for certain, they can’t stay. Paradise Falls is the post-rotter version of New York City, and there’s no chance Wade can recover here. The question now is how long it’ll take until she can get him to follow her to a calmer, more secluded place.
Somewhere they can turn this into a new beginning, or where she can accept that the two of them sitting silently in a room together, several feet apart, is how they’ll live out the rest of their lives.
Chapter 2
The wall feels different against his back today.
The floor is smooth instead of cobbled and crumbling.
He hasn’t seen the mouse even once. Hopes nothing happened to it. Wade heard them talking about putting out traps as they passed the cell the other day. He doesn’t want to think of that poor little bastard with his tiny feet stuck in glue or his head caught under a wire.
The mouse visits him even when he doesn’t have food to share. Not that he ever has enough to share, but a morsel here and there ain’t gonna make a difference. It even sits in his hand by now and Wade hates how attached he’s grown to that animal.
Things are off today. Everything looks and feels wrong, but that could be the drugs. Can’t trust what he sees on the best of days, but even more so when they bring out that little vial and the liquid burns in his veins. He’s so fucking out of it that his delusions almost circle back around on themselves until it’s all crystal clear again. Almost.
They usually don’t shoot him up unless they’re moving him, or he’s trying to off himself. He doesn’t think he tried that today. If it’s even still today. It could be next week already. Have they moved again? Is it really different, or is he only seeing something new to provide himself with some variety?
He’s not sure, but the fact remains that they’ve lost interest in him for the most part, so the drugs mean something. They don’tshow up as often to take out their frustrations. He’s not new and novel anymore, and they’ve got other captives for that. He goes long stretches without seeing anyone except the hand that shoves his food through the door. Even that can take a while. He’s found himself missing the days when there was commotion around every corner. In some ways, the pain is better than isolation.
Did he slam his head against the bricks again? Hard enough that he’s forgotten? Maybe. Only remembers that the door opened before the butt of a gun slammed into his face, then everything went dark. One more head injury to add to the pile. A few more memories shattered. He hardly remembers his own name anymore. Then he woke up again with telltale nausea in his gut and three of them holding him down.
All his fight should be gone by now, but it isn’t. Won’t be until he’s dead, or until he sees Kara again, and he can’t die because he has to see her. He has someone to fight for. At first, self-preservation kept him going. That was fleeting, though. In the end, the vast majority of him only thinks about Kara now. At least, in the few memories he still retains that feature her. Like that reunion in the hallway of her apartment building, a pile of rotters between them, and her beautiful face lighting up before she flung herself into his arms.
“I thought I’d never see you again. I went to your place, and you weren’t there.” She breathed into his neck. “What the hell is happening?”
It had been only a couple of weeks after the news started reporting on a rabies-like virus sweeping the world. He was with…someone else, but he can’t remember their name anymore. Can’t remember what the fuck he was doing before he went looking for Kara, only that he had to find her. And then there she was, covered in gore from fighting her way out of thehall. His smile had never been wider than the moment he saw her alive and felt her in his arms.
