“Why would any of that be silly?”
“Doesn’t matter. We don’t have to do any of it. I’m just thinking out loud. What about you? What do you want to do?”
“Help you check those off the list,” he says softly. “You know what’s good for sunrise? Cathedral Rock. The place I told you about before.”
She looks at him, unable to contain her affection as it overflows. “We’ll see. We shouldn’t take risks just for my list.”
“I know, I know. No risks. Only if we can.”
Somehow, this shifted from her suggesting they complete a bucket list to him trying to persuade her it’s not the stupidest idea she’s ever come up with. Maybe they really do need to take advantage of all these firsts as if they’ll be theonly.
“Okay,” she rips the rest of her bread into smaller pieces. “But you need to come up with a few things, too. Not now, but think on it.”
“Deal.”
They have plans to see the country on the back of a bike and tick off a few check marks on the bucket list she hadn’t realized she mentally made over the years. She can’t wait to get started.
* * *
Later, when they turn in for the night and she drifts into a heavy sleep, she tosses and turns, watching her worst fears come to life under closed lids.
Change is hard, both good or bad, and this new venture has kicked up dust and sprinkled her thoughts around, disheveling them until her mind lands on a fear that never truly left.
“Wade!”she gasps, on the verge of tears as she watches him turn his back and leave her behind, or disappear in front of her like a puff of smoke.
Kara pushed him too far, or took something important from him, or confessed her true feelings in a way they can’t keep ignoring. Whatever it was, it’s enough to have him abandon her.
Just like her father did the day he used his handgun on himself.
Just like everyone else that she got close to who decided she was too much, too wild, too angry to love.
His voice calling her name from only a few feet away pulls her back. “You’re alright. Just dreaming.”
He’s perched on the edge of the bed, ready to come closer if needed.
That’s something else that’s changed recently. He’s not as twitchy anymore. Not so quick to bolt and so much faster tooffer affection. Half the time, she’s proud of his progress, and the other half, she doesn’t know how to handle it.
“I’m fine.” It’s a reflexive answer that makes her cringe at how easily that half-truth rolls off her tongue.
Recovering is easy enough, though. Nightmares have plagued her for so long in one way or another that she’s a pro at pushing them away, even if they have taken a backseat since she found Wade to make room for his dreams instead. Not much has her completely undone anymore. This one in particular is as ridiculous as they come. What more does she want? He’s already run away with her. How could she still have any doubts?
“I’m okay,” she whispers again, watching him lean back hesitantly against the pillows.
Dealing with this alone is second nature, but the urge to let him in the smallest bit and accept the comfort she’s used to denying herself is overwhelming.
What she wants is to crawl right in beside him and curl around him until she falls asleep again. What she does instead is reach across the small space, relieved when his palm slips into hers in a gentle hold in the valley between their beds.
The last thing she feels before sleep takes her is the stroke of his thumb across her knuckles, living proof that he’s still here.
Chapter 22
He’s never been happier in his life.
There are no distractions, battles, or problems needing solved. Wade has unrestricted access to his favorite person. It’s just them. Together. Alone.
It’s his own version of utopia, only magnified after having gone years without her. He tries not to think about his time in captivity anymore. It’s difficult not to dwell on it, but he is here to move forward, not look back. He may not always be successful in shutting out the past, but he is trying.
Sometimes it’s hard to ignore just how much he missed her back then when he’s given such a bounty of quality time now.
