What could she possibly be keeping in that she can’t say after so many years? Hearing all these disclaimers without knowing the answer is letting his imagination run wild, especially when the type of guilt so clearly woven into the stress lines on her face has never been Kara’s default emotion. His girl is a wild wrecking ball, but what she went through while he was gone chipped away at her soul.
One thing he knows for sure is the depth of her heart. If she hurt someone, it was only because she had no choice. Because she was defending herself or trying to find him.
“I can wait. Take your time.”
Instantly, tears well at the corners of her eyes. “Did I make it weird? I did, didn’t I?”
“Nah. If droppin’ your pants didn’t make it weird, nothing will.” He earns a sad half smile in return that leaves him feeling accomplished. “Come here.”
He opens his arms, and she leans into him quickly, pressing her cheek to his shoulder and inhaling deeply as he wraps her up.
“I’m so glad we’re out here together,” she says. “This is all I’ve ever wanted. I need you to know that.”
Hearing those words has him wanting to tilt her head up and kiss her breathless because it sounds and feels a lot like she just saidhe is all she’s ever wanted.
Instead, he opts for a cover. “Even considering the cannibal situation back there?”
“Even with all that.”
“Where do you wanna go next?”
“Anywhere, but first I’m hungry. My stomach hurts, and I just want to rest a while.”
“Then that’s what we’ll do.”
Chapter 25
She’s developed a concerning habit of taking her clothes off around Wade lately.
That’s all Kara can think about now, wrapped around him on the back of the bike as they aim for Kansas. It’s not something she’d been consciously trying to do. It just happened.
Maybe on some level it’s a peek into what her heart truly wants. She needs to strip herself bare for him and know he’ll still love what he sees instead of turning away, and shedoesthink he loves her. He said so, after all.
Not the way she hopes, but he does.
So, given the first chance, all she’s been doing is trying to get naked. First, the skinny dipping, and now taking her pants off in the bathroom and making him grope her scars. God, he must be rethinking this whole thing after she’s started behaving so strangely.
She has to be more conscious of how things look. He’s already been through so much, and she’s wary of setting him on edge again after they’ve made such progress. It’s difficult not to overthink every action she’s made, despite how easily he seems to accept them all.
Her deepest fear used to be losing Wade.
Then, it was the possibility that she would never find him.
Now, it’s losing him all over again.
Her behavior forms around that concept, good or bad.
I want to tell you everything.She meant that. Needs to confess how she ruined that child’s life, what feels like a lifetime ago, and let the cards fall where they may. She should have done that before they left, but couldn’t stomach the idea of him changing his mind. It would have been a logical moment to finally share her sins when she suggested the dog stay with that same little girl, but Kara has kept secrets from anyone and everyone for so long that they are simply a dull ache several layers below the surface, crushed by other traumas and ignored with practiced ease.
She needs time to figure out how and when to do this, and most importantly, do it with all her clothes on and a healthy dose of space between them. Once he realizes she’s a monster who has ripped families apart in her quest, he may not want to be cuddled up with her when that reality hits.
Kara clings to him now, though, because it’s expected. Can wrap her arms around his waist and rest her head between his shoulders, inhaling deeply with closed eyes as they ride into the unknown. That’s why she loves the bike so much. It’s permission to grab what she desires. Handing over driving privileges had been simple when the reward is being close to him like this.
When he covers her hand, a habit he’s grown fond of, warming her knuckles where they rest over his heart, she smiles behind him because he can’t see it.
Wade’s thumb waves softly across her skin as street signs whiz by one after another, and her thoughts drift to how gentle he’d be if all her attempts at getting naked ever ended in something new.
The vibrations from the motor and occasional jerk of the bike between her legs, coupled with her daydreams, have her throbbing over the course of a mile until she’s so uncomfortably aroused that she has to stop herself from rubbing delicately against the seat.
