“Sorry,” he winces regretfully, as if he’d taken her reaction the wrong way before moving to the other side of the bed again. “Didn’t mean to….”
“It’s okay.”
He’s embarrassed. She’s confused. They’re both frustrated in more ways than one.
She played with fire, and this time she lost.
Chapter 28
Wade’s not completely dense and wasn’t living under a rock before the turn. He knows what flirting looks like, just isn’t quite sure how to recognize it directed at him from Kara. Or, how to accept that it’s real.Especiallyhow to deal with how it makes him feel.
His attraction to Kara was something that used to scare him before he learned to shove it deep down and ignore it. He never felt this way before he met her. Granted, they were teenagers, so there were a lot of feelings he’d never felt before her, but when she came along suddenly, he had all sorts of new, unfamiliar thoughts that never quite kicked in until then.
It was overwhelming and frightening. Took him a while to come to terms with it and long, long after that, toacceptit. He always assumed she didn’t feel that way about him. If she did, he would know. If she did, he’d have made a move long ago, and they would have eloped on a whim and said their vows on a mountaintop somewhere, back before the world ended.
But she doesn’t. Or he assumed she didn’t. What a shame that it took as long as it did for him to question if he was wrong. Still, he’s skilled at ignoring his body’s reaction to her. That’s a whole lot easier to do when they’re in normal, everyday situations instead of in bed together while he’s trying desperately to get his dick to calm down.
Now, it’s all brand new again. He can’t rationalize his heart anymore, and his body is betraying him.
He started a game of chess, expecting it to be like checkers, only to get checkmated.
He should say something.
Do something.
Fix this.
With his luck, he may only make it worse. So, he lies here helplessly, trying not to think about the musical lightness of her laugh or that beautiful, blinding smile he wants to see again and again.
He made that happen.In any other situation, he’d take it as a win, but this time there’s no denying just how far he’s failed. He stews in his own regrets and waits for the inevitable crash of the most important relationship of his life now that she’s seen what he’s been trying so hard to hide.
“Do you remember the first time we really spent the night together?” Kara says quietly, breaking the silence. “They were fighting again. He was drunk…always. And you must have known how scared I was because you came to sit with me in bed and you didn’t leave the whole night. You were the only reason I got any sleep.”
He swallows hard, the memory of that time in their lives just barely below the surface. “I remember.”
“And now, all these years later, here we are in bed together again, and I nearly hurt myself laughing. Past me would have thought it impossible. I never, ever thought I could be this happy.”
She’s trying to ease his worries with the soft cadence of her voice, like she isn’t about to abandon this trailer to escape him. It’s working. “You’re happy?”
“I am. I know it’s hard to tell because my face doesn’t really do anything except frown and scowl, but I’m happier out herewith you than I have been in so long. We’ve been through so much together, Wade. Nothing’s ever gonna ruin that. Never. Do you understand?”
She rolls her head to face him, and he forces himself to meet her stare, surprised by the affection he sees instead of the disgust he’d been expecting. He takes the out she’s offering with a reluctant nod.
“Good.” One corner of her mouth quirks up. “Besides, I am, too.”
“You are too…what?”
“You know.” She makes a vague gesture toward his crotch that’s finally begun to wilt under the blankets. “I mean, clearly it’s more difficult to tell in my case for obvious reasons, but…yeah. It happens.”
She absolutely can’t be saying what he thinks she’s saying. He’s got to be staring at her like she’s grown three heads and an extra arm, because she huffs with an eyeroll, all sassy like they aren’t talking about such a sensitive topic that it could burn down this whole place and everything in it, including them.
“What? You don’t believe me? Want proof?”
How the fuck would he get proof? How does that work? He has half a mind to ask and take her up on this bold offer, but he holds his hands up instead in mock surrender. “Okay, okay. Fuck. I get it.”
She laughs, clearly pleased at how flustered he’s gotten. “See what I did there? I made it so awkward that it circled back around until it’s normal again. You’re welcome.”
“That’s a skill.”
