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‘Home’ was where I got yelled at. Criticized. Ignored.
For most of my life, I’d felt like a ghost, There, but not. Not counting. Not important.
Not loved.
It was sad but I’d almost thought I’d felt a little bit of that with Jace. I was an idiot obviously. Hot guys like that didn’t like girls like me.
Chubby, bookish, quiet girls like me.
But... He had seemed to like me. More than a little bit. A lot.
I sighed, grabbing some lotion to rub on the thin skin on Gran’s hands. She’d always been so proud of her hands. They were beautiful even now, with long tapered fingers and pretty oval shaped nails.
“Frannie?”
I turned to see Nevada standing in the doorway. My face crumpled as all the tears I’d been holding back started to fall. She was across the room and pulling me into her arms in two seconds flat.
“Oh, honey. I’m so sorry.”
“Thank you for coming.”
“Don’t be silly. How is she doing?”
“They said she might pull through. I don’t know. She looks so frail…”
She leaned back, staring at me.
“Well, you look exhausted. How long have you been in here?”
I shrugged. I hadn’t left the room since I got here late last night.
“And I bet you drove all night.”
“Jace dropped the car off. But I didn’t come downstairs.”
She tsk’d when I nodded. Then she hooked her arm into mine.
“Come on, we are getting you something to eat and some fresh air. Gran will be okay for a few minutes alone.”
I followed her meekly out of the nursing home. The sun hurt my eyes and I squinted. Nev handed me a pair of expensive looking sunglasses from her bag. I slid them on gratefully.
This was the town we’d grown up in and I didn’t want to run into anyone.
“Sammies?”
I nodded and Nevada took my arm again, propelling me down the side walk. I felt numb, like a robot. I said a quick thank you to God for my friend.
“I know you’ve been crying but you still look like a movie star.”
I laughed tiredly. It felt weird to laugh. But I knew Gran wouldn’t have wanted me to be sad.
“I do not.”
Nevada gave me her best side eye.
“You do. Trust me. Everyone is checking you out. I knew it was just a matter of time until everyone noticed what I already knew.”
“What,” I said listlessly.
“That you are beautiful.”
I squeezed her hand. Nobody was a better friend than Nevada. She was always fighting for the underdog. She never judged anyone on the surface stuff. She even kept in touch with a couple of the strippers she’d worked with briefly.
We walked toward main street where our favorite deli was. People were looking at us. But I knew it was because I was with Nev.
My best friend was stunning. Not just beautiful. She was BEAUTIFUL.
The kind of girl that made other girls feel insecure. But she was so sweet that I’d never felt that way around her. Plus I’d seen her at her worst more than once.
Even sick with the flu though, she was stunning.
Inside and out.
“So….Tell me about the guy.”
“Jace.”
“Hmmm hmmm…. he sounds hot.”
“He is.”
“But?”
“I think I blew it.”
“What? Why?”
I shrugged.
“I may have overreacted.”
She stared at me.
“No, you didn’t. I would react to something like that on Clay’s phone. With a frying pan to the head.”
I laughed again.
“Yeah, but I’m not engaged to the guy! I just met him.”
“But you like him? Even after the photo?”
“Oh, Nev. I do. I like him a lot.”
She leaned in and whispered in my ear.
“Okay, spill it. You were crying too hard the other day for details. Did he… do things to you?”
I nodded, blushing. She nodded knowingly.
“We are way over due for a sleepover date, don’t you think?”
“Okay. But I’m staying with Gran until later.”
She patted my arm and walked into the deli.
“Of course, you are sweetheart. Come on, let’s get you some egg salad on rye,” she wrinkled her nose. “With extra onions.”
I laughed.
She knew me so well.
Chapter Seventy
Jace
I stopped drinking long enough to show up for my shift at the city center. I’d already skipped Tuesday but after a week I figured I better get my shit together. I looked like hell but at least I wasn’t drunk. But when I got there, I wished I was.
There was no sign of Frannie.
Fuck, was she avoiding me here too? I’d been hoping to talk to her. Or take her out again.
I’d been hoping she would have cooled off enough to let me fuck her.
I sat down with a couple of kids and started working. She had to show up sooner or later. I fucking hoped so anyway.
When one of the other tutors walked by I asked. It was one of the older ladies that worked there full time. She told me that Frannie was gone. A family emergency.
They didn’t know when she’d be back.
