Cally tapped into her savings account to pay an obscene amount of money for a fisherman to take them out, despite the choppy waves and the argument that mid-afternoon was a terrible time to fish.
They huddled in the cabin around a small table, ignoring the mutterings of ‘tourists’ from the captain and his crew. The captain had given up trying to persuade them with good advice, and sailed due east as he’d been bid. Three hours had already passed, with nothing for Cally to do but check their heading still led toward Antoine.
How far out had they taken him? They must be getting close.
“Let me know as soon as you can reach him,” Cally told Noah in a quiet voice, but the wind battering the rattling windows made it unlikely any of their conversation would be overheard.
Noah nodded with a wince, looking slightly green around the edges, and gripped the small table.
Cally was grateful her stomach was strong, and tilted her head as she watched him. “You all right?”
“Don’t like boats.”
It was as good an opportunity as any, and maybe it would help to distract him. “Can I ask you a personal question?”
Noah swallowed hard and nodded.
“What’s it really like? Being a thrall?”
“How do you mean?”
“I mean…” Cally waved a hand, trying to find words that wouldn’t risk offending him. “How do you feel when Antoine tells you to do things?”
“I feel like I want what’s best for him,” Noah said earnestly. “Like it’s a privilege to do whatever I can to help.”
Cally fought to keep her expression neutral, to hide the grimace that threatened to push to the surface. “So compelled, huh? No free will?” It was as bad as she feared.
“No, it’s not like that.” Noah frowned as he thought about it. “I have free will. I can choose to eat or not eat. I could walk out onto the deck if I wanted to, but it’s warmer in here.” That wasn’t saying much; the wind whistled in through the open door. “You know I served in the military, right?”
“Yeah.” Noah, Zoey, and most of the other thralls—if not all of them. Like Antoine chose them specifically for that reason.
Noah nodded. “Eight years in the infantry. Left as a Staff Sergeant after two tours in Iraq, one in Syria, one in Afghanistan. Fourteen months living on the streets. Less freedom in all that time than the last week with Antoine.” He eased back with a wry look. “Free will, huh? Do any of us really have it?”
That was exactly the argument she’d expect a mind-controlled thrall to give. “Free will is walking away whenever you want. You can’t now.”
He laughed dryly. “I couldn’t before. You can’t walk away from a military contract, and how do you ‘walk away’ from living on the streets?”
Cally frowned. Maybe there was some truth to that. “All right, but you could still choose how you spent your time. You can’t now.”
“You’re wrong, Cally.” Noah didn’t seem offended. “Antoine doesn’t control our every waking moment. He asks us to do things for him, and we’re pleased to. I understand why you’re asking, you know. I’m aware I’m a thrall. I won’t deny that it bothered me at first. But the bond I have with Antoine? When he tells me ‘go there,’ ‘do this,’ whether he intends it or not, I always know why. Like he’s sharing his thoughts and feelings alongwith the command.” He smiled gently. “You know the first thing he told me to do?”
“No.”
“Look out for you.”
She shifted in her seat. “You and Zoey were following me around for a while.”
“He told me to keep my distance, but your safety was my top priority. And he sent me an image of you—mentally, I mean. With it, came a whole bunch of care, you know? It was obvious you were important to him, that he saw so much in you. But more than that. He genuinely wanted you to be safe.”
When would that have been? Before she first went to Minh’s club, but after she’d tried to fry Antoine with a UV torch. Still, she knew why. “Because I was food for him, Noah.”
Noah shook his head. “No. I would’ve had a different sense if it had been something so trite. This is what I mean. Each time Antoine tells me to do something, I get more of a sense of who he is. Yes, I’m his thrall, but you know what? I’ve had worse bosses. Plus I’m stronger, faster, harder to kill. I’ll never get sick. But the truth is at this point I’d work for him anyway, thrall or not.”
“You would?” Cally couldn’t hide the surprise in her voice. He sounded genuine.
“All of us would. You’d get the same answer from Zoey, Diego, Tom.” He paused for a breath or two, eyes on the table. “I guess it’s in part because I’ve always wanted to protect. That’s why I joined the military in the first place, I suppose. But here? With you and Antoine? There’s realpurpose—more than I’ve ever had before. Isn’t that what life’s about?”
“The way you speak of him, it almost sounds like you love him,” Cally said tentatively. She hadn’t expected such depth of feeling.
