“Wait, what? No, of course not!”
“Well, why else are you calling me at this time on a Monday evening? I’m rarely graced with a regular Sunday phone call, much less a spontaneous mid-week conversation with my youngest.”
I close my eyes and pull the phone away from my mouth so she can’t hear my long, slow exhale. I know exactly what she’s referring to because of course Cameron calls my mother religiously every Sunday evening.
“I do have news actually,” I say.
“You’re back together with Markus!” she says more as a statement than a guess and it’s so loud I know Mina hears when she pulls her lips back in her mouth as if to suppress a giggle. She sits down on the bed, still holding my hand.
“No, I am not,” I say as steadily as I can, the frustration boiling in my veins. This was such a bad idea. I should have waited until I had a place in a training course. I should have waited until I knew how I was going to pass the many months that are still between now and when I potentially start teacher training.
“Such a shame. There’s still time, I’m sure.”
“Mum! I don’t want to get back together with Markus!” I declare as Mina’s eyes pop open wide.
“Well, then why are you calling?”
I look at Mina whose face has settled somewhat. Maybe she can read the nerves in my frown. Maybe she can sense how fast my heart is racing. Maybe she can imagine how sweaty the palm that grips the phone is. But she gives me exactly what I need when she stands up and comes to my side. Her arms wrap around my waist and she looks up at me.You can do it, she mouths at me.
Her hold anchors me to the ground. Her encouragement summons a new focus and energy for what I want to say next. Mina’s swirling honey-brown eyes on me make me feel ready to navigate whatever awful reaction my mother has. Now I’m ready to say what I want to say.
“Mum, I resigned today. I’m going to be a teacher.”
The silence is not unexpected but still it unnerves me, despite Mina’s grip on my waist tightening.
“I’m sorry, Charlie, I’m just checking the calendar. Is it the first of April? No, I see that it’s not. Does that mean you’re actuallyserious?” Mum asks, sounding more than a little hysterical.
“Yes, I’m serious.” I slide my free hand down Mina’s back and I hold her eye contact.
“But… why?”
“Because it’s what I’ve always wanted to do.”
“But you’ve worked so hard to get where you are at HNO. Why are you just going to throw it all away now for a job that will mean you work more hours for far less money?”
It’s the first time in as long as I can remember that my mother has said something complimentary about my current work. It’s just a shame it was wrapped up in an admonishment.
“I’ve got enough savings that will cover most of my expenses for the next few years, and I will still have some income if I earn on the job like I want to. My mortgage isn’t too high now and I can make some changes to save money elsewhere, but I don’t want to let worries about money stop me from doing something I’m passionate about.”
“Passionate? About teaching snotty, spotty teenagers? Goodness… I need a glass of wine. Where’s that Chianti?” I hear clattering and banging as Mum searches the kitchen.
“Mum, I don’t expect you to love the idea or even give it your approval, not that I need that, but I’d love it if you could try to understand why this is important to me.”
My mother sighs so loudly I wonder if she did the opposite to me and brought the device closer to her mouth so I could hear her exhale reverberate.
“I just don’t want you to make a mistake you’ll come to regret. It won’t look good on your CV if you go and give this teaching thing a go but realise it’s far too much work for very little reward.”
“Mum, I understand what you’re saying but—” I’m cut off by Mina giving my middle a sharp squeeze, pulling my attention down to her.
Fuck her. She mouths firmly and with her brown eyes fixed on mine.
I stifle a laugh, but it achieves what I believe Mina set out to achieve. Suddenly full of courage, my voice is firm and even as I speak. “Mum, it doesn’t matter what you think. I’m doing it and you can either be happy for me or you can be miserable about it and make it the next thing you use to take the piss out of me in front of Cam and Bruno and all your friends.”
“Charlie, I don’t do that,” she says, aghast. I can picture the hand on her chest perfectly.
“Mum, you constantly do that,” I say, my tone gentler. I don’t want to fight with her. I don’t even want to talk about it anymore. I’ve told her and so she knows. I’d much rather get off the phone so I have another hand free to hold Mina closer to me.
“I’ve just always thought you were capable of so many things and it always seemed like you were wasting your opportunities by going into advertising.” Her tone is softer now too.
