But I can stop. I will make myself stop.
“That makes sense,” Mina finally says and I am definitely wrong when I think I see sadness in her eyes, especially when she carries on talking. “You know, I probably should apologise for getting so carried away last weekend. I guess some of the things I said were wrong and inappropriate.”
Mina hugs her belongings a bit closer to her body, making her bracelets softly chime again. How much I’ve enjoyed hearing that sound all week. How much I already know I’ll miss it when it’s just a distant noise in the office come next week.
“So, I’m sorry, Charlie.”.
If I was feeling sour and sad a moment ago, now I’m feeling close to heartbroken, which is ludicrous. I didn’t even feel this close to devastated when Markus and I broke up and we were living together.
“You don’t need to apologise,” I tell her, searching for her eye contact but she’s staring at the floor.
“Well, I just did so take it or leave it,” she says and then moves to walk past me and leave the room. But that won’t do. I stop her by stepping in her way.
“Charlie?” she says as she stops.
“Take it back,” I say.
“What?”
“Take back your apology,” I order her and I’m surprising myself with how serious and stern I sound. “You don’t need to apologise for… that. I liked it. A lot.”
Mina licks her lips and if I wasn’t so busy watching the movement I would question if it was intentional or not. “Fine, I take it back,” she says curtly.
“Good,” I say, although I feel less than pleased about how things remain between us.
“Will you let me pass now?” she asks.
I don’t want to. I want to keep her here. I want to say something to make her smile. I want to massage her shoulders until I see Mina look less frustrated, less irate, more relaxed.
I also suddenly, urgently, desperately want to kiss her.
But I don’t do any of those things.
Instead, I move to the side and say nothing.
And Mina walks by me and out of the room without another word.
Chapter Thirteen
Heaven Help
Mina
“Well, fuck me backwards with a nine-inch dildo!” My sister exclaims upon seeing me. “You’re not wearing black!”
I look down at my body con lilac dress. “Is that so shocking?”
“Yes. Yes, it is.” She crosses the function room to embrace me.
I don’t know why she’s so stunned I’m wearing a light colour. I’ve had this dress for years. Granted I’ve worn it only a couple of times since buying it but there’s never been a function warranting it, until today. Yes, that’s why I’m wearing something unusually colourful and undeniably fitting. For my sister. It’s absolutelynotfor Charlie.
“You look stunning, by the way,” I say before she hugs me tightly. And I mean it. Wearing a floor-length red silk dress with a deep V neckline, the material is shiny and smooth and I do my best to keep my face away from the material so my make-up doesn’t stain it.
“Thanks for coming early,” she says, pulling back before holding her hands up. “And for last night. Look how pretty you made me!”
I admire her henna and allow myself to feel proud. It is indeed beautiful and the red of her dress enhances the warm copper glow of the henna on her skin.
I glance around the space, an upstairs function room of a bar in Kensington that I would normally not be seen dead in thanks to its overpriced drinks, and its overpaid and overprivileged clientele. It’s not a huge room, but it’s plenty big enough to accommodate all of Aisha and Nick’s friends and family. Tables and chairs have been pushed to one side, a small bar is in one corner, opposite a DJ booth and I’m relieved when I see his lighting equipment is very limited and indeed Aisha has kept the room’s lights on low. I wonder briefly if this is for my benefit and make a note to thank her for that.
