“Charlie.” She pushes her forehead against mine.
“This is kind of a big deal for me,” I begin.
Mina nods. “I know.”
“You do?”
“Yeah, I know it’s been a while since you, you know, put your sausage in a roll, got your dog hot, let your toad fall in this kind of hole,” she says almost seriously, which is quite a feat.
“Wow. Those were a lot of sausage metaphors.”
“Which is ironic considering how much I don’t like sausages.”
“Now is not a good time to remind me that you have been penis-adverse for most of your life.”
“I am not penis-adverse!” Mina exclaims. “I’ve just been a bit adverse to the things they’re attached to.”
“Also not the kind of pep talk I need right now,” I grumble.
“Why do you need a pep talk at all?” She frowns at me.
“Because… Because…”
But I can’t finish that sentence with what I want to say.Because I really like you, Mina. Because I want to make this unforgettable for you. Because I’m scared I’ll never get another chance to make love to you.
“Because I normally have people shoving things inside me, not the other way round,” I say instead before hanging my head in shame at my lack of valour and eloquence.
Mina brings both of her hands off my arms and grips my chin with one of them, tilting my head to look at her.
“Well, I’m normally shoving things inside people so let’s both do something a bit scary and different, shall we?”
And her eyes are so soft and searching, her smile so small and yet so big in its effect on me, and her hold on my chin is so affirming and reassuring that the worry melts away, or rather, I find the courage to push it away.
Because despite it all, I want Mina too much to not do this.
If this is my one and only chance with her, I am not going to waste it.
So I dive back in for another kiss, bring us both away from the door, and I throw her on my bed.
Chapter Twenty-One
Fly Away
Mina
I’m a fan of the Charlie that eats my pussy until I momentarily lose my vision. I’m a fan of the Charlie who picks me up and carries me through his flat. And I’m a big fan of the Charlie who throws me on his bed and stares down at me, half-dressed, like I’m his next meal.
What’s more disconcerting is that I think I’m also a fan of the Charlie who tells me he’s worried about how to fuck me. There was so much vulnerability in his voice I couldn’t bat it away, couldn’t ignore or dismiss it. And I didn’t want to. I wanted to make him feel better. I wanted him to know I understood. I wanted to make him smile and laugh again.
I think I was able to do that. But what I’m also able to do now is take control of this situation and ensure he knows just how badly I want to be fucked by him.
Sitting up enough to wriggle out of my jacket and top, I lay back down wearing just my bra.
“Take your clothes off,” I tell Charlie while I tell myself that it’s to even out the score, so I’m not the only one practically naked in the room, but I know it’s also because I want to see him. I liked seeing his body last night, but now I get to enjoy it with daylight streaming through the window on the other side of the room, handily far enough away that we’re not giving his neighbours a show.
I’m not disappointed when he pulls his T-shirt over his head and drops it to the floor.
“You’re not going to fold it up and put it away?” I tease.
