“Logically, yes.” Loncey levels a look on me that is very telling. Borderline patronising in fact. I throw a Cheeto at them.
“You think you’re such a smart-arse.” I move onto my knees so I’m a little higher, reaching in the bag of crisps for more ammunition.
“And you think you’re not! That’s even worse!” they declare as they dodge another one of my bullets.
To stop me throwing another they reach down and grab hold of my hand. Somehow their grip is so firm, they pull me up to standing, the bag of Cheetos left on the mat.
“You know there was one thing I did find a little weird about last night,” they say, still holding my wrist although their hold has loosened slightly.
“Oh?” I say and a shiver of panic ripples through me. At least I think that’s what it is.
“It was weird doing that with you but not kissing you before or after.”
I blink at them, their deep brown eyes fixed on me.
“But we hugged. You said you liked to hug… after stuff like that.”
“I do. But hugging isn’t kissing. Do you like kissing, Maeve?”
I love kissing, I want to say but that would be too much. That would be ridiculous.
“Sometimes,” I say instead.
Loncey licks their lips and that pulls my eyes down to their full lips that are this indescribable mix of light brown and warm pink. It hits me then that they want to kiss me. That they’re going to kiss me. And I feel… good about it. I feel hopeful and keen and curious and full of anticipation.
The last time I wanted to kiss someone was at Christmas nearly a year ago and it was Arabella. But it wasn’t like this. That felt like something I had to do, like it was a test, one I failed miserably, but thankfully not at the cost of our friendship.
This is totally different. There is an element of want to this kiss.
“That’s good to know,” Loncey says and then, after squeezing my finger briefly, they drop my hand and walk away.
“You fucker!” I call out to their back.
They turn and flash me a very amused smile. “Pardon?”
“You stood there licking your lips like you were about to kiss me!” I point a finger at them and step closer. “I bet you’ve tried that move on all your partners and I can’t believe I fell for it.”
They’re laughing softly and I can’t decide whether to shout louder or join in their laughter. “You’re right, I have tried it on others in the past,” they say. “But I promise you this was different.”
“How? Because you didn’t actually kiss me? Just wanted to leave me hanging like a wet fecking fish on a hook?”
They step closer to me and their eyes are all dark and stupidly bottomless again. “No, Maeve. This was different because I had to stop myself. I had to use all the energy in my body to hold myself back.”
My mouth goes dry. “Why? I said I liked kissing… sometimes.”
They nod and have the audacity to lick their lips again but this time it’s more contemplative than suggestive. “Because I refuse for our first kiss to be in a sweaty gym while I’m wearing a tank top and you have Cheeto breath.”
I clap my hand over my mouth before deciding it’s more important I shout at them so I remove it. “You absolute—”
I’m cut off when two of their fingers land on my lips. “Now who said I didn’t like Cheeto breath? And that cute little orange moustache you have from them too.” They wipe at my top lip and it’s that that silences me more than their words.
I square my shoulders back and swallow away the way they have me feeling, all limp in my limbs and tight in my core.
“You saidfirstkiss.” I cross my arms. “That implies you think there will be more than one. I think at this point you’ll be lucky to get even that.”
I should be pleased when Loncey’s composure breaks but as it descends into more giggles I feel anything but satisfied. I feelhungry for more certainty. I feel hungry for… shit, that kiss. Their kiss.
“I think you’re absolutely right,” they say. “Now, I’m going to shower. You have your Cheetos to finish and then maybe we’ll go get some real food. Sound good?”
