“So should you,” they say as their eyes close.
“Yeah,” I agree, but I don’t feel tired.
“Good night, Maeve,” they say in a husky voice.
I watch them fall asleep. I track the lines and dips of their face in the dim light that filters through their windows and I’m only just realising we didn’t close the blinds, but I’m happy we didn’t because it means I can keep watching them. I can keep studying their chest and their lips as their breathing slows and steadies.
And then I close my eyes. But I don’t fall asleep for a very long time.
Chapter Thirty-Four
Loncey
My arms are empty when I wake up. They weren’t empty a few hours ago. I know because I woke as a pinky-gray dawn light was filling the room and I saw it dance off Maeve’s cheeks. I watched more of her come into view as my nose nuzzled against her bonnet, her back pressed against my chest and her feet lined up along my shins. I don’t know how she got there, if I reached for her or if she tucked herself into me, but I couldn’t stop smiling as I stayed completely still in that early morning light, and at some point, let sleep come for me again.
As the warm comfort of this memory starts to fade, it makes way for an ice-cold thought.Has she gone? Has she left me without saying goodbye?
I push the covers away and stand up. Looking around the room, I see the silk bonnet she was wearing resting on the pillow, slightly folded like it was very deliberately placed there.
She’s gone. She’s left.My stomach plummets.
“Fuck.”
I rub my face and then check my phone, hoping more than is rational to see a message from Maeve, an explanation. But there’s nothing but a small barrage of notifications from people who don’t matter, not in this moment. There’s also the time. 9:06. Shit, I really slept in.
Another pressing thought surfaces.Jessica.
She’ll need to start her morning IV, will need some food, and then soon her first vest session. But first and foremost, I need to check she’s okay.
That has me rushing out of the cabin and across the yard to the kitchen door, and I only realize what I’m wearing – a pink satin camisole and matching lace-trimmed French knickers – when I’m pushing open the door. But I don’t care. Jessica is more important. I should have checked on her hours ago, especially as I bet Taylor’s already gone to work.
“Jessi—” I call out as I open the door but I’m cut short when a blast of music and women’s voices fill my ears. I step inside the kitchen and see movement, and I smell the sweet, warm scent of pancakes.
“Loncey!” Maeve’s voice calls out. “You’re awake!”
I look over at Maeve who is standing just beyond the island in my mother’s kitchen, dancing. Dancing with Jessica who is holding onto an IV pole with one hand and has Maeve’s fingers in her other. They’re dancing toRight Hereby SWV, which is playing loudly in the room, and that’s when I see what Maeve’s other arm is holding. Prince, Jessica’s dog.
“What...?” I begin, but then I feel a body brush against my arm.
“Just enjoy it,” my mother says into my ear, coming up on her toes to do so.
So I do.
*****
An hour later, my stomach is full of Mom’s sweet potato and cinnamon pancakes and my heart is full after witnessing Jessica and Maeve talk at great length about fashion, about a handful of influencers I’ve never heard of, and more interestingly about romance novels.
“You have to read this one.” Maeve holds up her phone to Jessica. “It’s sapphic. It’s so chaotic. And has the most swoon-worthy HEA. It’s also friends to lovers, like you and Taylor.”
My sister blushes and it surprises me when I find my smile deepening. My mom gets up and starts to clear plates, kissing Jessica’s head as she does.
“You read romance novels?” I ask Maeve as gently as I can, while taking a sip of coffee. “Sapphic romance novels?”
Maeve gives me a disingenuous look. “Sure I do. I mean, this time last year, I thought I was a lesbian so, you know. I was doing my research.”
“But you’re not a lesbian?” Jessica asks.
“Nah,” Maeve shrugs, “I’m asexual. Rookie mistake to make, apparently.”
