“I haven’t seen them in weeks, Bella, and this is the first message they’ve sent since then.”
“Hmm, very interesting facts, but they are totally irrelevant. Your smile says it all.”
“My smile is because they’re a fecking eejit, thinking that I give a shit about Mars being in Cancer right now.”
“Ooh, that does sound bad. What does it mean?”
I glance at my phone again. “That it may make me feel a bit emotionally unbalanced.”
“Emotionally unbalanced.” Arabella holds up one hand before raising the other and moving them like scales. “Or… hopelessly in love.”
“Listen, I told you about what happened with Loncey in Vegas because you’re my best friend and I had my first positive sex-related story to share. I didn’t tell you so that you could jump to these wild conclusions about me being in love.”
Wild conclusions that are completely accurate, I think to myself.
“This has nothing to do with you giving them front row seats to the Maeve Masturbation Matinee. This is about how they make you feel when they send you a ridiculous message about planets and stars moving all around. I haven’t seen you smile like that in weeks – no, months.”
I look at Bella and take a deep breath. I could tell her everything. About how food doesn’t taste right since I left Las Vegas. About how lonely I feel at night with only the stars for company. About how I fall asleep imagining them sitting astride me, painting my back. About how even before I open my eyes each morning, I reach for my phone to see if they’ve messaged while I’ve been asleep. About how I think about their hands on my arms, my waist, my face, my hair when they kissed me.
“I’m going to LA next week,” I say instead.
“Oh, that’s cool. Why?” Bella takes the bait, and I almost can’t believe I’ve gotten away with it.
“A fashion show for an ethical brand I’ve been working with for a few months now.”
“A fashion show? The week before Christmas?”
“It’s kind of anti-Christmas-themed. It’s supposed to highlight how problematic mass consumption is, and how thistime of year is the worst. All the clothes are made from recycled festive wear, apparently.”
“Like repurposed Christmas jumpers? I’m not sure how good that will look.”
I shrug. “I don’t really give a shit about looking good. I’m trying to help save the planet.”
“But you’re getting paid to do this show?” Arabella gives me one of her best Bullshit Detector smirks.
“Actually, no. They’re just paying for my flight and accommodation,” I say and I’m not above getting a little kick out of correcting her.
“Yeah, because flying you halfway across the world is really great for the environment.” Arabella doesn’t miss a beat.
“Listen, they’re not perfect. But they’re trying.”
“Don’t they have local models?”
“They want me to be there,” I say but I don’t add how I want to be there too because then I’m that bit closer to Loncey. And now they’ve got in touch, maybe I can even see if they want to meet up. I mean, they probably don’t but I don’t think I’m above trying to find out.
“Wait, isn’t LA like close to Las Vegas?”
Damn Arabella and her near-telepathic ability to read me like a fecking book.
“They’re completely different states.”
“But on the same side of the country, right? The West Coast.”
“Sure,” I say but don’t elaborate.
“You’re going to get in touch with them, right?”
“No,” I say. Or rather, I lie. I was planning on telling them I was in LA but now they’ve reached out before I get there, I can reply and tell them in advance.
