We didn’t speak much in the taxi to the hospital but they relayed the latest messages they’d received from their mum and Taylor. Jessica was continuing with oxygen treatment and still had the chest drainage tube in place. It still wasn’t clear or decided if she needed surgery. She was sleeping a lot, but Taylor hadn’t left her side, calling in sick to her work.
As we’d rushed through the hospital, rolling our suitcases next to us, we were still holding hands and I felt Loncey’s grip tighten the closer we got. Once we’d been advised what room Jessica was in, I’d squeezed their hand and then released it.
“Go,” I said. “I’ll wait here for you.”
They’d looked at me with bottomless brown eyes that were wide with fear.
“But our bags…”
“I’ll look after them. You go look after Jessica.”
Those words had prompted them into action and I’d watched as they jogged away from me. They’d turned back and called out, “I’ll let you know how she is!”
That was nearly three hours ago and while I’m not bothered about being left alone, I am starting to get worried that something bad has happened, that Jessica’s condition has deteriorated or devastating news has been delivered. Loncey knows I’m worried about Jessica. They said they’d tell me how she’s doing and I’ve heard nothing. No text or call and they haven’t returned to the waiting room.
I’m about to go up to the reception desk and ask for an update myself when I see a figure approach me. It’s Gabi, Loncey’s mum.
“Maeve,” she says, holding out her arms. Her smile and eyes are both tired, but there is warmth there nonetheless. As there also is when I step into her embrace.
“Are you okay?” I ask over her shoulder.
She pulls back and grips my elbows, keeping me close. “No, but I will be,” she says. “At least that’s what I tell myself to get through the days like these.”
A new terrifying thought enters my mind. “You’ve had many days like these?”
“This is not the first time one of Jess’ lungs has spontaneously collapsed. In the past, she had slightly higher lung function so it wasn’t quite as scary, but she was younger. I think it was more frightening for her then. Right now she seems too tired to even be scared,” Gabriella’s gaze dips for a beat before returning to me, her eyes mistier and even more exhausted, “which is sort of horrible in its own devastating way.”
I nod. “I can imagine.”
“You really didn’t have to come-” she begins but I cut her off.
“Loncey wasn’t going to stay and I wasn’t going to be without them.”
Gabi’s smile returns and it seems to have a little more life in it.
“They’ve fallen asleep in the chair next to Jess. Taylor is sitting on the floor doing some work on her laptop. I just wanted you to know they didn’t forget you, they just wanted to stay with Jessica and when they fell asleep, well, I wanted to let them.”
“I’m glad you did,” I tell her and when her palms slide down my arms, I catch one of her hands in mine.
“Do you mind if I sit with you for a while? I need a change of scenery,” she nods at the chairs behind us.
“Of course,” I say and I lead us to sit down. “I also wanted to thank you, for what you did for my brother and Jenna. My niece,” I swallow around a lump of emotion, “she’s so beautiful.”
“That was a huge pleasure,” Gabi taps our joined hands. “It’s a joy and honour to be a part of any birth of new life.”
“Loncey really saved the day,” I tell her.
“They have a habit of wanting to do that,” Gabi chuckles, almost to herself.
Silence falls between us but the longer it lasts, the louder one particular question becomes in my mind. It gets so loud I have to speak it.
“Is Jessica going to be okay?”
Gabi turns to look at me and while there is still exhaustion in her slightly sallow features, there is something else in the small smile she gives me. Sheer and unadulterated bravery.
“No, Maeve, she’s not going to be okay in the same way you and I would be okay after something like this. I don’t know what life will be like for her after this. But I know she will be loved. She will not be alone,” a tear falls but her smile holds, “and she will be so, so loved.”
*****
