“So now I need to know,” I say as I find their hand and hold it in both of mine. “Are we compatible? Me with my Cancer sun, Gemini moon and Pisces rising? And you with your Scorpio sun, Aries moon and Taurus rising.”
They squeeze my hand and lean closer over their arm rest.
“First of all, I don’t care. I don’t care what the stars in the sky have to say about us. I care about the stars in your eyes. The galaxy of kindness in your heart. The safe, warm and beautiful universe that is your body to me. I care about what you can teach me about life, not what ancient balls of gas could possibly represent.”
I’m silenced by their words, completely bowled over by the love in them, and the love in their deep brown eyes that are fixed on me. And yet my sassiness, as Loncey likes to call it, has me responding.
“Cute, but you didn’t answer my question.”
Loncey gives me a small pout. “Well, as it happens, yes we are compatible. Two Water Sun signs are always a winning combination. Our Moon signs are very compatible too. Aries and Geminis typically share good connections, good conversations and the right kind of challenging encouragement. And our rising signs, well, Pisces and Taurus aren’t exactly a match made in heaven, but they both value love and trust and their differences have the potential to work well together. I mean, I think we have proven that opposites can very much attract.”
“And you’ve known this since when?”
“Since that video you did about getting your birth chart.” They level an assured smile on me.
I use our joined hands to swipe at their chest. “And why didn’t you tell me?”
“Because you would have called it ‘a load of bollocks’ and told me to ‘feck off’,” they say, raising their eyebrows accusingly.
“Well, youcanfeck off!” I squeeze their hand again. “Although I have to say, your Irish accent is getting better.”
“Just wait until I’ve lived there for years and years. They won’t be able to tell me apart from the locals.”
It feels like a rubber band is tied around my heart one too many times when I hear them say “years and years.”
“But Jess…”
“She’s happy for us,” they say. “A little too happy, if I’m honest. She said something about her getting her HEA and that it was time for us to have ours. She told me you’d know what she meant by that because I’m clueless.”
My smile is a wild, unstoppable thing. “I know what she means.”
“To be honest, I think she’s been trying to get rid of me for a long time. We talked yesterday morning when you slept in before I did her physio with her. And she made me call Mom and tell her so that I wouldn’t back down. They’re both happy for us.”
“You know in a year or two, we could move back to Vegas, or somewhere in the States, if you wanted. I know time with Jessica and your mum is important to you.”
They lean back in their seat and stare straight ahead. “It is. It always will be, which is why I’ll go home regularly, and I hope you’ll come too.”
“Of course,” I say.
“But it’s more important to me that I live the life I’m supposed to live. A full life. A life full of love.”
“A life full of love. Doesn’t sound so shabby.” I lean back in my chair too.
“I promise it won’t be.” Loncey leans towards me. “Although I’ve got to be honest, I’m dreading the weather in Dublin.”
“Yeah, it’s not great. You may actually have to wear a top most days,” I tease.
They lean in a little closer. “As long as you give me access to your wardrobe, I don’t mind.”
“What’s mine is yours,” I quip before reaching over and pecking them on the cheek, the forehead, the tip of their nose. “I still can’t believe you’re here,” I say with my face only inches from theirs. “I can’t believe you want to do this, be with me, even though being with me is not going to be like, like how it is with other people. Are you really sure—”
I’m silenced when Loncey’s other hand comes to wrap around my forearm and their grip is strong. “Don’t,” they say in a clipped voice. “Don’t finish that sentence. Ever. That’s the only thing I’ll ask of you as a condition of my coming to Dublin. You must never, ever doubt my love for you. You must never think you’re not enough. You must never be worried that I’m not satisfied or fulfilled when I’m with you, because, fuck, Maeve…” They exhale and press their forehead to mine. I look down and watch their lips move as they continue to speak. “Yours is the biggest, brightest, most satisfying love of all. Your love is asupernova. Your love is everything to me, so do you promise me you’ll never ask me that question again?”
I’m forced to swallow. Swallow down all my doubts, all my fears, all my worries. I’m not burying them. I know I still have to deal with many of them in time, but I’m pushing them to the side, to a place where they won’t grow or expand, but simply exist in the shadow of something taller and wider. My faith in Loncey. Because I believe them. I really believe in them.
And more than that, I believe in myself.
“I promise,” I say, and I’m not just making a promise to them. I’m also extending one to myself.
