“Where is Prince? You do realise he is the only reason I am calling?” I say, my tone dripping with sarcasm.
“He’s in the main house with Jessica. They’re having aScreammovie marathon with Mom and Jess’s friend Taylor. You know Halloween lasts approximately three weeks in our household.”
“Sounds fun. We don’t really do Halloween in Ireland but I like it. I have a pumpkin mug and always treat myself to a Halloween manicure.” I flash them my black nails, a few of which have skulls on them.
“Nice,” they say appreciatively and then hold up their other hand and I notice short black painted fingernails. “We match! Shall I go show you Prince? You can meet everyone too.”
That makes me sit up straighter, uncrossing my legs. Why would they want to introduce me to their family? “No, it’s okay… you don’t…”
But they’re already on the move and I’m seeing glimpses of more wood and then terracotta tiles and some potted plants and shrubs, and finally, I’m inside another house and I briefly absorb lots of calming colours in the décor.
“Hey, Jess, pause the movie for a second,” Loncey calls out. “I got a friend who wants to meet Prince.”
A friend? I’m Loncey’s friend? I suppose we are friends. I’ve been quite successful in not thinking about all the messages we’ve been sending to each other, and what it means now that we’re talking on the phone. But I’ve had enough Internet acquaintances to know that these connections come and go. When your working life is like a whole new world that the real, offline world doesn’t know about, you can’t help but seek out community with those who can relate. That’s what I’ve been putting my conversation with Loncey down to, but now they’ve just called me their friend, to their family no less, and I don’t hate it. In fact, I like it.
“Who is it?” A high-pitched voice says sleepily, but I don’t see any people. I only see a little curled-up ball of gray fluff.
“Hello, Prince!” I say in a loud whisper. “Ahh, is he asleep?”
“Yeah,” the same voice replies. “Loncey took him on a run this morning and he’s still recovering.”
“Isn’t that animal abuse?” I ask, ensuring my teasing lilt is very audible. First impressions and all that.
“Dogs need exercise,” Loncey explains as they come back into view. “Even lazy ass Yorkshire Terriers with attachment issues.”
“What numberScreammovie are you on?” I call out and the camera swings round to show me three women sat on a couch close together. As they all look up and see me, I immediately recognise the oldest-looking woman as Loncey’s mom and the youngest-looking one, who I assume is Jessica on account of her having the same skin tone and dark eyes as Loncey. The other woman has tanned skin and dark features with long, dark brown hair tied up on top of her head, and she’s wearing a face mask. Loncey’s mom is wearing linen trousers and a matching smock, while Jessica and her friend are both wearing jogging bottoms and hoodies. Loncey’s mom waves while the other two smile a little shyly.
“ScreamIV,”Jessica says.
“That’s the best one,” I say.
“That’s what I think,” Loncey declares and the camera whips around back on them.
“Nah, the first is the best. You can’t beat the original movie in a series.” I think that’s Loncey’s mom.
“Unless you’re talking aboutThe Godfather,”I say.
“OrToy Story,”Loncey adds in. “Because, duh,Toy Story 3.”
“And, and this is a controversial opinion,Grease,”I add.
“I loveGrease 2!”The voice I now know to be Loncey’s sister pipes up. The phone swings round again.
“Oh my God, it’s the best!” Jessica’s friend says and she puts her hands out in front of her, mimicking riding a motorbike. “I wanna coooooool rider!”
“Oh, and that song about Doing It For Your Country!” Jessica’s hand lands on her friend’s arm and she looks a lot more perked-up than she did a few minutes ago.
“Geez, I remember you letting her watch that way before she was old enough to be watching it!” At the end of the couch, Loncey’s mom is wagging a finger at the camera, presumably atLoncey who I also guess is laughing now as the camera starts to shake.
“What can I say, it was Michelle Pfeiffer,” Loncey says.
“No more explanation needed,” Jessica’s friend says, making Loncey’s sister giggle and their mother roll her eyes. “Total MILF.”
“I think she might be a GILF now,” I offer. “A grandma I’d like to…”
There’s more laughter. “I like you,” Jessica calls out, shifting slightly so she can stroke Prince’s tummy as he stretches out in his sleep. “But who exactly are you?”
“This is Maeve,” Loncey says from behind the camera. “She’s a content creator, like me.”
