I turn back to him.
His fingers twitch slightly.
I take a few more steps.
“Georgia.”
This time when I turn, he’s still, but his forehead is furrowed. Asleep but calling my name.
I hesitate for long moments, torn between the two worlds Valen created for me. One where he’s my lover, another where he’s my tormentor.
“Kedves verem, please. Please,” he whispers. ‘Please’ lingers on his lips as he mouths the word but makes no sound.
I take a deep, steadying breath, then pad back to the bed. Crawling in beside him, I settle with a good bit of distance between us.
His forehead smooths, his breathing going even and deep. I watch him until my eyelids become heavy. My body warm beneath his covers, everything here steeped in his scent of soap andhim. I should’ve left. I should’ve severed my ties to the Valen from before, the one I let into my body, into my heart.
Instead, I chose him.
Then and now.
Again and again.
6
Istare for long enough that my eyes are able to focus in the low light. Valen still sleeps, his body relaxed, breathing even. He’s facing me now, his dark hair falling against his cheek, the blanket down around his hips.
The wound on his side is completely healed. I don’t know how long I slept, but I awoke warm and comfortable, Valen’s arm beneath the pillow where my head is.
I turn toward him slowly, analyzing every bit of his smooth skin, the musculature beneath, the absence of any trauma or bruising. It’s as if he were never hurt. When I’d cleaned him up in DC, his wounds were often deep or deadly for a human, but nothing compared to what Gregor did to him. Like a systematic murder, taking Valen apart piece by piece in whatever way would cause the most pain.
All this suffering, all of it forme. It’s an uncomfortable, yet undeniable, truth. He could’ve given me up when I killed Theo. Could’ve ended the charade at any time while he kept me prisoner here. His cruelty toward me—it was a kindness. Every vicious act was nothing more than a way to hide me away from Gregor, from death.
“When I found out you were being held?—”
His low voice startles me, and I peer into his now-open eyes. Blue and stormy, full of so much emotion that he never allowed me to see before.
“When I found out Whitbine had you for questioning.” His jaw tightens. “I would’ve come to free you then. I wanted to.” He reaches out and strokes my cheek gently, so gently.
“Why didn’t you?”
“Coal.” He sighs, his eyes closing. “He silvered me. I never saw it coming, never suspected he’d move against me like that. He crucified me to keep me here. To keep me from coming for you.”
“What?” I swallow hard. “Hecrucifiedyou?”
“That torment was nothing compared to what you suffered. But Coal was right.” His voice is deep and smooth, the surface of an underground lake with no bottom. “If I’d come for you like I’d wanted to, Gregor would’ve killed us both without a thought. I had to plan, to wait—it was the only way to get you out. I fed Whitbine my blood, poisoned him with my will to keep him from—” His jaw tenses. “—from doing any worse. But my influence couldn’t be strong enough to be noticed. It took time, and every night you were in that fucking prison, the more desperate I became. Coal counseled patience.”
“He was right. You said it yourself.”
“Still, I’ll never forgive him. He knows that, knows that one day I will come for vengeance. Not for silvering me, but for keeping me from you.”
“No.” I shake my head. “Coal saved your life. Saved both our lives.”
“I don’t care.” He meets my gaze again, his thumb stroking across my cheek. “You were tortured, and I didnothing. Whitbine took from you—” He runs his hand down my arm tomy wrist and strokes my skin, then presses a reverent kiss to my scars. “—and I did nothing.” His eyes are stormy, a raging sea.
“You got me out. I survived because of you. Because of Coal using his head instead of his heart.”
He grits his teeth.
