Ledger breaks the kiss, turning slightly and reaching for the drawer by the fridge. I assume it’s his mom calling to check in, but he reads the caller ID and then turns the screen to show me.
“It’s my brother-in-law, Fletcher. I called him yesterday morning to see if he could get your car towed out to the ranch and fix it.”
“Oh.” My hands gather together in my lap. “Okay. That’s . . . good.” Right?
With a curt nod, he answers the call. “What’s up, Fletch?”
Inaudible murmurs sound from the other end of the line, but I can’t make out his words exactly. Ledger pins the phone to his ear with his shoulder while putting some soup into a bowl and then extending it toward me. The ceramic is warm in my hands as I take it from him. I hadn’t noticed the stack of perfectly golden grilled cheese sandwiches next to the stove until now, buthe snags the plate of them and slides it across the counter next to me.
“Good?” he mouths silently to me while still listening to the phone call. I nod after a few bites with a satisfied hum, and his hand lands on my thigh as he leans against the counter and concentrates on what Fletcher is saying to him.
“Oh. Today?” Ledger’s eyes meet mine, and I offer a small smile. There’s an underlying irritation in his tone when he finally replies again. “That works, I guess. Thanks.”
My appetite disappears and the stone countertop seems colder now underneath my skin. I set the food aside and place my hands on either side of my body, sliding forward and landing on my feet. Absentmindedly, I rub over the edges of the bandages on my fingers where the adhesive has already begun to lift around the edges.
Rays of pale yellow light shine through the windows by the front door, reminding me that there may still be snow on the ground, but the worst of the storm is over and gone. The only thing standing between me and the road to my next job is that damn car. If Ledger’s brother-in-law comes to fix it today, I could be on my way.
“See you in a minute.” He nods, but his gaze is pointed toward the floor now. “Yep. Bye.”
“Does he run a car shop or something?”
“Nah, he’s just good at fixing stuff like that,” Ledger replies, putting the phone back in the drawer. He turns to face me, and I hate the way the mood between us has already grown somber. “He said the roads are a little slow, but clear enough, and he’s riding up here with his buddy to come pick it up for you. They’re gonna take a look once it’s at the ranch.”
“Thank you for getting that set up.”
“Yeah, I kinda wish I would have told him to take his time so that you weren’t on your way so soon, to be honest,” he chuckles.
The apples of my cheeks rise with the corners of my mouth, and the sides of my eyes crinkle up in a genuine smile. So, he doesn’t want to dance around the fact that he wants me here longer. I like how straightforward he is, and I cross my arms to try and calm the storm of flutters in my chest.
His deep brown eyes bore into mine, like he’s imagining all the ways he could delay my departure.
As soon as I take a step toward him, two loud honks sound from the bottom of the driveway. It’s faint, but clear enough to know that Fletch has shown up with his friend to take my car. We both look toward the door, he sighs, and I scurry to the bedroom to put on a bra and a respectable pair of pants rather than simply underwear, in case one of them decides to take a visit to the house.
By the time I walk back into the living room, wrapping my hair in a twist and fastening a claw clip, the room is silent. I walk toward the front door, opening it a few feet.
Ledger has an olive green hoodie on, and I smile seeing him in his slightly faded black cowboy hat again. The driver’s side door to his rumbling truck is open, and one foot sits on the running board.
“Be right back,” he shouts toward the house.
With a pitiful wave that barely lifts above my waist, I watch while he makes his way down the drive.
I thought about telling him to forget the damn car. I’ll call in sick for the next few months while I hibernate in his cabin and we waste time getting to know each other more. But I think better of it. That seems a little psychotic, honestly, and the truth is that we both have jobs and lives to get back to.
As I settle into the couch and reach for the book I’ve been slowly making my way through, the obsessive thoughts persist. I want to figure out how I could possibly talk to him aboutseeing where this could go, even if it was long distance, without sounding like a crazy person.
Chapter Fifteen
Izzy
If what happenedthis morning between Ledger and I was nothing more than a result of sexual impulse, I’d be packing my bags right now. But rather than gathering my things for a quick exit, I find myself sitting cross-legged in front of the fireplace, surrounded by pillows and blankets, basking in the warmth with no sense of urgency.
It’s nice to pretend I have nowhere to be. It’s unsettling at the same time, trying to sift through my feelings after the last few days.
In the twenty minutes waiting for Ledger to get back from helping with my car, I tried to distract myself away from my thoughts by reading. Staring into the orange flames in front of me, I scrunch my brows together, remembering the scene in the book that made me slam it shut and move to this spot on the floor.
The main character designed his life the way he thought he wanted it. He valued his independence and sense of valor at the expense of loneliness. When he fell to the mud in that canyon with a gunshot to the hip, I wondered if he regretted the path he’d chosen. Maybe he thought of her and wished he’d stayed.I didn’t read on far enough to find out, knowing he might stop breathing before realizing his once cherished isolation was never worth dying alone.
It’s not often I have time to read, but when I do, I make sure to never pick up a book that doesn’t have a happy ending. Maybe it’s silly of me to avoid the ones where things don’t work out perfectly. It’s realistic, after all. No matter how true it is, I still hate the painful reminder that life doesn’t always go according to plan.
