Ipace the entryway, glancing at the time as I wait for Ashlyn to pick me up. All day, I’ve been torn. Part of me wants to go to Eden tonight, but the other half can’t shake the guilt, like I’m somehow betraying my mom. I was twelve when she had the accident. I still remember bits and pieces of life with her before, though some memories have started to blur. What I do know is she was an amazing mom, and I miss her every single day. It’s hard to believe it’s been six years since I last heard her voice or felt one of her hugs.
Ashlyn does seem great now that I’ve spent some time with her, and I can understand why my dad likes her so much. Still, I can’t help wishing things were different, that it was my mom making him smile instead. But like I said to Ashlyn last night, I’m starting to accept that even if she woke up tomorrow, things wouldn’t go back to the way they were.
The chime of my phone pulls me from my thoughts. I grab it from the pocket of my jeans and see a message from Dad. We’d spoken earlier and he seemed genuinely pleased that I’m giving Ashlyn a chance. He must know we’re heading to Eden tonight, but he hasn’t mentioned my date. I guess Ash kept her promise and didn’t tell him.
Dad:Hey, sweetheart. Have fun with the girls tonight. I’m so glad you and Ash are getting along. I’ll see you when I’m home tomorrow.
I type back quickly.
Me:Thanks. I’m a little nervous.
Dad:You’ll have a great time. Ash loves a night out.
Me:What time will you be back tomorrow?
Dad:Sometime late afternoon, I think.
Me:Okay. See you then.
I slip my phone back into my pocket just as a car horn sounds outside. Stepping to the door, I spot Ashlyn’s car waiting in the driveway. Nerves twist in my stomach as I take a steadying breath. I lift my hand in a quick wave, grab my things, and head out to meet her.
Ashlyn steps out of the car and reaches for my bag.
“Hey, Laney. You doing okay?” she asks as she takes it from me and walks over to the trunk, popping it open and setting it inside.
I’d left the dresses I tried on last night at her place, figuring I’d be getting ready there tonight anyway.
“Hey, Ash. Yeah, I’m okay… just a little nervous about the date,” I admit.
The truth is, it’s not just the date I’m anxious about. The whole night has my stomach in knots, even though I hung out with Ashlyn last night and had fun. It’s all still new.
We climb into her car.
“You’re going to have a great time,” she says with certainty as she clicks her seatbelt into place and backs out of the driveway. “What time are you meeting… wait, I don’t think I asked. What’s his name?”
“Ryan,” I tell her. “We’re meeting at seven.”
She nods. “Perfect. I’ll make dinner when we get back. We can’t do takeout two nights in a row,” she teases with a laugh. “Ivy’s coming over too. You like pasta, right? It’s kind of the only meal I can make. I’m a terrible cook.”
I smile at the way she rambles on, like she’s trying to fill the silence. It’s kind of sweet that she seems as nervous as I feel.
“Pasta’s great,” I say.
She glances over at me. “Have you decided which dress you’re going with yet?”
I turn toward her slightly. “I’m torn, but I think I’m leaning toward the red one. What do you think?”
Her face lights up. “The red one is stunning! Classic and elegant. You can’t go wrong. But try them both on when Ivy gets there and see what she thinks.”
“Good plan,” I say, feeling a little more at ease.
“I love a girls’ night,” Ash says, her tone lighter now. “Especially when it starts with drinks at home.”
“It’s been a while since I’ve done that,” I admit quietly. “At least, not since before we moved to River Falls.”
Ash frowns. “Didn’t you just go on a girls’ weekend?”
“Yeah,” I say with a shrug. “But I barely knew anyone. I was basically there to make up the numbers.”
