She gives me a soft, knowing look. “Liar.”
I shrug, unable to deny it, and she pulls me into a hug.
“Grief is weird,” she whispers. “I know Ben doesn’t mean to hurt you. He loves you, Ash.”
I stay quiet. More than anything, I want to believe that, but I’m not sure anymore. How can I know how he feels when he won’t let me in?
The server shows us to our table, and I order a large glass of wine before staring blankly at the menu. I’m not hungry, despite not eating properly for days. It doesn’t matter what I order. I’m not going to be eating it anyway.
Conversation happens around me, but I’m not listening to what’s being said. I can’t seem to concentrate on anything at the moment.
Ivy leans in. “Ash, Laney’s here.” Her voice is tight, and I look at her in confusion.
“What?”
“Laney,” she says, pointing across the restaurant.
I follow her gaze, and my heart sinks when I spot Ben with a woman and a man beside him, who I’m guessing are his sister and brother.
“Ash!” Laney calls, waving enthusiastically.
“Shit,” I mutter under my breath, forcing a small wave in response.
My gaze locks onto Ben, who’s standing behind Laney and staring right at me. He offers a tentative smile, and despite everything, I find myself smiling back. Every fiber of my being wants to run to him, but I know I can’t. Ivy slips her hand into mine, giving it a reassuring squeeze.
I stand, and Ivy stands with me. As Laney reaches me, I’m surprised when she throws her arms around my neck, and I hug her back tightly, but as I step away, my chest tightens. Ben has stayed where he was, although his gaze stays on me, piercing straight into my soul.
Shaking off the ache, I focus on Laney. “How are you holding up?” I ask softly.
She gives me a small, sad smile. “I’m okay, I think.” She shrugs. “Got to be, right? Hey, Ivy,” she adds, turning to her with a smile. Her eyes go around the table and she offers a shy wave to everyone, smiling when she sees Wyatt.
“Good to see you again, Laney,” Ivy replies warmly.
I meet Laney’s gaze. “If you ever need to talk, I’m always here. And just so you know, it’s okay not to be okay.”
Her expression falters. “Dad’s not okay,” she whispers, and her words cut straight through me.
“Ash isn’t okay either,” Ivy chimes in. “It took me forever to convince her to come out tonight.” I shoot her a pointed look, but she just raises her hands in surrender. “I’m only speaking the truth,” she says with a shrug.
Laney’s gaze softens. “He misses you, Ash.”
I sigh, my heart squeezing in my chest. “I miss him too, but he asked for space. I’m giving it to him, even if it’s killing me.”
“Please don’t give up on him,” she whispers.
“I won’t,” I assure her, though deep down, I wonder if it even matters. I can’t force him to want to be with me, and as much as it hurts to admit, it feels like he’s already given up on us.
“Come and meet Aunt Kirsten and Uncle Milo,” Laney says, looping her arm through mine and tugging me across the restaurant.
A nervous knot tightens in my stomach, and I shake my head. “Oh, no. I don’t think that’s a good idea. Your dad doesn’t want to see me.”
She waves off my concern. “Sure he does.”
I glance back at Ivy, my eyes wide with hesitation, but she just smirks and sits back down.
My gaze moves to Ben, who’s still watching me. As we come to a stop in front of him, he offers a soft smile.
“Hi, Ash,” he says quietly. “You look beautiful.”
