My heart thunders in my chest, and my breath catches. I hadn’t expected Laney to take the news of her parents’ separation well, but hearing him confirm it just compounds how hard this is going to be.
“I’ve thought about everything, Ash,” he adds. “Probably more than you realize. And yeah, I know what this means, what it could cost, and how hard it could get, but I still want this. I still want us.”
A lump forms in my throat and tears sting my eyes as his words sink in. His life is still complicated. None of that has changed, but I can feel the truth in his words. He wants this just as much as I do, no matter how tangled or difficult it might become.
CHAPTER TWELVE
Ben
Ihold my breath, waiting for Ashlyn to say something. My hand is still wrapped around hers, my thumb tracing slow, steady circles over her skin. But she stays quiet, and the silence between us starts to stretch longer with every heartbeat. I don’t know if that silence is a good sign, or if she’s just trying to figure out how to tell me I’ve screwed everything up.
I study her face, trying to read her expression. She’s looking right at me, but I still can’t tell what’s going through her head. We’re both laid bare, our hearts on our sleeves, but hers more than mine. She’s the one who asked the hard questions, the ones I’ve thought about late at night but shoved aside, afraid of the answers. She faced them anyway. And now she’s sitting here trying to decide if she should protect her heart or risk everything.
For me.
“I’m scared, Ben,” she whispers. “But I’ve already let you in. I’ve already fallen.” Her voice is soft but sure. “And I know nothing in life is ever promised. Molly and Taylor have shown us that. But they’ve also reminded me how fragile everything is… and how some things are worth holding onto, no matter how tangled or complicated they get.”
I exhale slowly, feeling the ache in my chest begin to ease. She’s still here. Still choosingus.
“I’m scared too, Ash,” I say quietly. “Scared I’ll mess everything up, that I’ll hurt the people I care about the most, that I won’t be enough, for you, or for my daughter. But the one thing that terrifies me more than all of that… is losing you before we’ve even had a chance to see what this could be between us.”
Her shoulders drop and her body softens just a little, and the tension she’s been holding onto finally starts to let go.
She smiles softly. “We’ll figure it out together, Ben.”
I search her face. “Come here,” I say, my voice low as I open my arms to her.
She takes the bottle from my hand and sets it beside hers on the coffee table, then moves closer, curling into my chest like she belongs there. I slide my arms around her, pulling her in tight. Holding her feels instinctive, like this is exactly where she’s meant to be, and I never want to let her go.
“Are we okay? I ask after a couple of minutes.
She lifts her head and smiles. “We’re good, Ben.”
Relief washes over me. “Can I kiss you?” I ask softly.
“Yes,” she whispers, her voice full of longing.
Lowering my head, I slide my fingers into her hair. It’s still damp from her shower, and as I gaze down at her, in sleep shorts and a tank top, bare-faced and beautiful, I can’t help but smile.
“Why are you looking at me like that?” she asks, her cheeks coloring under my stare.
“Because I want to remember you like this,” I murmur. “You’re beautiful, Ashlyn.”
She gives a soft laugh, shaking her head. “I look a hot mess.”
“No,” I say, brushing a strand of hair behind her ear. “You look perfect.”
Then I lower my head and press my lips to hers in a slow, tender kiss. She melts into me instantly, her response leaving no doubt she wants this as much as I do. When the kiss deepens, I trace my tongue along her bottom lip, and she parts them for me with a soft, breathy moan that sends heat rushing through me. Her hands glide up my chest, her fingers gripping my shirt, tugging me closer like she can’t stand to have space between us. I know the feeling.
I pull back just enough to trail kisses along her jaw, smiling as she tilts her head to give me more. My lips find the rapid pulse in her neck, and I trace my tongue over it, feeling the quick thud of her heartbeat against my mouth. She’s pressed so close I’m sure she can feel my heart racing too, her hands splayed across my chest as I lose myself in her.
As much as it kills me to put the brakes on, we need to take this slow. There’s already enough stacked against us.
I force myself to pull away, pressing my forehead gently against hers. We’re both breathing hard and I know exactly where this would have gone if I hadn’t stopped. And as much as I want that, she’s worth the wait. Every second of it.
“We should slow down, baby,” I murmur, catching my breath.
“We should?” she echoes, her voice soft but questioning.
