“Wouldyouhelp someone like me?”
If you’re wondering, now the room is silent as a tomb and not one jaw isn’t on the floor, so… guess this is happening.
Grace
Kit/Kat
In the realm of all things unexpected, that question ranks up there. I mean, Jasper has mostly been a dick to me from the moment I stepped out of Dank’s car, and much of the time, he’s flaunted whatever he could to piss me off or upset me in some way. From edging too close to my boundaries and issues to mocking me, he’s even drawn the wrath of my kinkajou because he wouldn’t stop jabbing at me. But right now, in this room, he looks defeated and weary. He looks like a guy who has been holding himself up by his claw tips for so long that he isn’t even sure when it started or how to stop doing it all on his own.
And his friends look completely baffled by that and the glimpse of his vulnerability that is peeking out at me.
Zav’s hopeful expression flickers in my mind, and I know that he, above anyone else, probably knew this existed inside the prickly-ass dragon. His relationship with Jasper has probably been loaded with attempts to bring out the abused kid inside who elected himself the savior of his friends and the entire realm of Hell. I can’t excuse Jasper being such an asshole to everyone—especially me—because he’s got some super buried, ugly-as-fuck trauma that no one knows about. But I can make good on my own words and help when he asks for it.
“Yes,” I say simply. “I would help someone like you, despite all the shitty stuff you’ve done and said, because I’ve seen little snippets of the real person hiding behind all that mean armor. I see it in how you treat Zavidawhen you don’t think anyone is watching, and how you found me when that… demon was going to… do bad things.”
Jasper grunts, looking uncomfortable.
So I go on, my voice getting a bit stronger in the silence. “I’ve seen it in your protective behavior in front of the royal parents and the secret room you guys prepped at the Samhain ball in case I got overwhelmed. I know you were out of control when my powers slipped because those guys attacked in class, and I think it was because you were upset the caliphate was getting hurt. You care about people, Jasper Eversore, and you try really hard to hide it so no one can use it against you. Again, yes, I would help that guy if he were asking me.”
His bleary eyes meet mine, and I see something fearful in them that I haven’t witnessed before. “Maybe I am asking. Maybe it wasn’t hypothetical. What then?”
I see this will be up to me to figure out how to show him I’m not lying—great.
“I’d say that I’m game, as long as Zav can be part of it, too.” There are snickers behind me as I say that, and I roll my eyes hard enough to injure myself. Dudes are the worst, even in the most serious of moments. “Do you agree to let us help you right now? Because… I’m going to admit that if you do and you go back to being a total shit heel tomorrow, we’re gonna have real fucking problems. You need to get that through your sauced brain before you answer.”
There’s a low whistle of appreciation, and I look over my shoulder to see Oriel flashing me a thumbs-up. Slash looks equally pleased, and knowing the rest of the guys support me helps my shaking insidesa lot. I know this is a step towards sharing my big truth with Jasper, and his ability to commit to being a better guy to me and all of us is very important to me in that regard. I can’t trust him with that if he doesn’t stop ping-ponging between decent and a fuckhead. Before I go back to the prince, I look at Zav to make sure he’s okay with my inclusion of him in this effort. His smile is huge, and his tails are swishing happily like a damn puppy, so I breathe a sigh of relief.
“Looks like Zav agrees with me, so the ball is in your court now, Prince Pricklypants.” I smile a little, trying to mitigate my own issues zooming around inside of me as I wait for him. The teasing is gentle because I want him to know that I’m not asking him to change who he is entirely—just to behave like someone with a lick of emotional intelligence and a heart.
A ghost of a smirk passes over his face, and he shifts in his pile of cushions and pillows. His tail uncurls, moving around me to open up the space infront of him more. “I will do my best to temper the bad habits. I have been trying more recently because… I did not miss thatyouhave been working on your own reactions with no one requesting it. It occurred to me that if you can work through bad shit… I should be able to as well.”
I take that as a cue to move just fractionally into the cleared space, nodding. “I believe everyone can do the work, and I don’t ask for things I’m not willing to give—even grace.”
Out of the corner of my eye, I see a reddish flash of movement, and within a blink, Zav is kneeling beside me. He’s giving me the distance I need, but also showing Jasper that he’s going to be there with me if this works. I smile at him, then bite my lip before I hold my hand out. Zavida’s expression is a little surprised, but he takes the offer and looks at his lover. “I think you deserve more than you ask for, Jas. Not the spoiled rich kid act, but like… things you really need and want.”
There we go, fiery fox man. Help me get him there.
“Being close to me puts an even bigger target on your back,” Jasper rasps. “Especially if I am not being derisive in public after this.”
I chuckle softly. “I’m sure you can find things to snark at me about that aren’t truly mean or hurtful to keep your cover, Jasper. But letting people in? That takes a lot more strength than enduring dumbasses calling me the ‘Caliphate Concubine’ when they think I can’t hear it.”
His eyes narrow as he growls, “Those motherfuckers…I thought Slash shut that shit down.”
This time, I’m shocked, and I turn to give the guys behind me a dirty look. “Damn it, you guysknewabout that one? Even the T-shirts?”
Slash looks sheepish until I say ‘t-shirts’ and that’s when I’m afraid he’s going to stomp out the door right now, in the middle of our big breakthrough with his bestie. I wave my hand at them, hoping they realize I don’t want to deal with that right now. What is happeninghereis so much more relevant to our surviving the Games and whatever happens afterward—at least, I think it is. We all have to be on the same page, and Jasper has been the big holdout.
“No, we did not know about… merchandise,” Slash grumbles angrily as he settles back on his pillows. “However, deaths will be swift and consequences will be felt.”
“And I’ll steal all that shit and burn it,” Oriel adds gleefully. “No charge, KK.”
The crow’s got jokes.
“Okay, okay. You can… avenge things later.” I blow out a brain-clearing breath and turn back to the prince. “Look, those idiots aren’t the first ones to do things like that, and I’m sure they won’t be the last. I can handle that stuff—really. But canyouhandle being thought of as attached to me when they’ll all be… like that? Will you be able to build trust and share things as we get comfortable? The others will tell you that we’ve shared some stuff, and you’d have to do that, too.”
Zavida frowns. “Some of us have. But… I’m willing to do it when you’re ready.”
I squeeze his hand lightly, hoping to reassure him. “We will, Zav. You’re doing great.”
