I wrinkle my nose as I walk up to him, smacking his arm. “Shut up. You don’t need me to say why. I’m notthatimmune yet.”
Laughing as he opens the door, Slash transforms into the quiet, threatening bodyguard he is when we are in public with effortless grace. His posture is stiffer, and the aura of menace he exudes blankets the hallway. “I believe in you, little demon. You are stronger than your trauma, and we have all noticed that you are healing. It is at your own pace, but I do not think any of my brothers are concerned by that.”
As we board the elevator, I tilt my head at him. “You think? It’s not annoying that I’m so damaged.”
“We arealldamaged.” He reaches over to scratch Dottie’s head since we’re alone and shrugs. “You are no less accommodating with our issues. The way you handled Jasper and Zavida the other night was impressive. I have not witnessed the prince being so open with anyone—ever. I do not think it will be easy, even now, but you may do something none of us have been able to achieve.”
“What’s that?” I ask curiously.
Slash gives me a grin, but his eyes are earnest. “You might get him to truly open up about the horrors of his home life. If so, he might come to terms with it, and that would be quite a coup.”
“I’m not trying to perform a coup successfully.” I frown as I fiddle with the strap of my bag. “I just want to get better, and I want him to do that, too. I think it will be good for everyone if Jasper can stop reverting to his dad’s bullshit brainwashing.”
“It will, and you mistake what I meant.” The big guy pauses, thinking for a few moments as the elevator dings and we exit. He doesn’t speak as we walk through the lobby and down the steps, but once we’re a good distance from anyone else, he says, “I meant you would accomplish something amazing and, by doing so, it will benefit the caliphate.”
“Whew,” I breathe. “ThatI agree with. My fear is that if bad shit goes down, he’ll break his promise and it will hurt me. I’m fragile, and while I’m doing better, a stunt like the office thing would end our truce. I don’t think I could stand for him to go back to being cruel now.”
“He knows better.”
I arch a brow as we cross the middle of campus. “Why?”
“Because if he does, he will have to deal with me.”
Okay, then.
Anxiety
Jasper
The worst part of today is the ridiculous amount of free time I have.
After the Arms class, I had as many unscheduled blocks as my second, but I promised to allow Slash to work with the shrimp alone. That concession didn’t bother mebefore, but after last night, I find myself insanely curious about what they’re doing and if the kid is progressing. It made me itch to stay in my office and write up reports on progress for students, then go to lunch with Salem and Oriel before my Dark Magic lecture.
To be fair, they were grumpy as fuck, and I’d bet a shiny gold soul it was because Kit wasn’t there.
My caliphate has completely and irrevocably shifted our focus to the kid, and while I understand it, the part of me raised by the king is having trouble with that. The Games will begin after the holidays—there’s no doubt in my mind. The Major’s arrival and the uptick in Lucian showing up to be a dickwaffle during class tell me they both know shit we do not. I haven’t heard a peep from my father since he granted our surface pass and I sent him a glossed-over report with as much omission as I could get away with.
Trouble is brewing in multiple areas of concern, yet my step is lighter and my dragon is calmer than it has been in… a very long time. I don’t want to consider what that means, so I have thrown myself into every task and class with fervor so I have to focus there instead of on my emotions. The acceptance of his offer to help surprised even me, but Zavvie was also quite pleased with it. He made certain to tell me how proud he was on the way back to our room this morning during our early session and again after Arms class. My Kitsuné is smart enough to do it privately, but he definitely wanted to express how much he liked my acquiescence.
Which means he, too, is hoping to get closer to the shrimp, and he wants to do it together, as Kit suggested.
I’ve tried to picture how that would work with our dynamic, and it’s both exciting and confusing. The kid is so damaged that I don’t have the faintest clue what would work and what wouldn’t—it will require a very thorough conversation and clear boundaries. I’ve never entered a scene without that, of course, because of my trauma, but… I don’t want to be the cause of a setback for someone so fragile. It’s a war raging within me—the fear of being my father paired with the brainwashing of his edicts for my entire lifespan. Being with Zavvie hasn’t required such precise control, and I don’t know if I’m capable of it if emotions run high.
“Fucking Tarron,” I mutter to myself as the class ends and I stand. My seat is close to the back, purposely in the shadows so any practical applications of the subject are far from other grad students. My control of magic is excellent, but when I am embroiled in this kind of inner conflict, mistakes are possible. I need to escape if the need to shift arises. Luckily, that also keeps the others from hearing me curse my father and gives me a quick exit to stomp out of.
“Jasper, wait!”
Zav’s voice catches me, and I stop, waiting for him and Salem to catch up. Pushing his glasses up, my lover gives me a scrutinizing look that I know means he’s onto me. “Don’t you two have classes to get to? I’m the only one with free periods next.”
“Yes, but you were simmering the whole damn class, man.” The panda arches a brow at me as we fall into step. “You can’t go barging into the room and be shitty with KK because you’ve got your tail in a knot.”
That wasn’t my plan, but whatever.
“I will not go back to the room and be a dick, okay? Just because I have things on my mind doesn’t mean that I will revert to old habits.”
Zavvie frowns at me, still suspicious. “It’s your pattern, Jas, and you know it as well as we do. Don’t ruin the chance to overcome shit now.”
Throwing up my hands in surrender, I huff. “Fine, fine. Yes, I’m having… issues. It still does not mean I was going to be shitty.”
