Chapter Twenty-Seven
Rory
Friday, October 2
RORY CURLED UPon the couch in Bernard’s arms. It was the beginning of October, and he was warm in Bernard’s arms. Bernard had been patient with him. They didn’t go further than making out, sometimes with their shirts off. Bernard tweaked his nipples once or twice but stopped when Rory wanted to. After leaving a make-out session, Rory would jerk off at home. He wanted to see Bernard jerk off. How big was Bernard’s cock? He wanted to play with it.
Bernard had recorded episodes ofWill & Grace. It was nice to see representation on television. Neither of them identified with Will or Jack, but some young gay men out there did. That’s what was important.
Rory leaned up and kissed Bernard. “I love you, sweetheart.”
“I love you too, sweetie.” Bernard squeezed him. “I’m so happy you’re here with me.”
“Can I ask you something?”
“You can ask me anything.”
“Well, I think I’m ready to be intimate, but…” Rory paused. How could he bring up anal sex without offending Bernard? Bernard had had anal before, hadn’t he? He’d been out for years now, he must have. Could Rory compare to the experienced men he’d been with?
“What is it?”
“I…I don’t know if I can do anal sex.”
“We don’t have to.”
“We don’t?”
“No, we can do whatever you are comfortable with.” Bernard kissed him. “Is that what’s been bothering you all this time? You thought we would have to have anal, and that scared you?”
“A little.” Rory’s face burned.
“What gave you the idea that we had to do anal?”
“I watched some porn, and they seemed to enjoy it a lot. I just thought…”
“Did you think that is the only way I’d have sex with you?”
“I don’t know. I’m not sure what I expected.”
“Well, we’ll take everything slow,” Bernard said. “I know this is your first time and I’ll go at your speed. We’ll try things as long as you are comfortable with them.”
“I…I’m afraid,” Rory said.
“What are you afraid of?”
“That I won’t be good enough,” Rory said. “That you’ll expect what you got from other men, and that I won’t live up to your expectations.”
“I don’t have any specific expectations.”
“I just don’t want to disappoint you.”
“You won’t disappoint me. We’ll explore and discover what we like. We’re in this together.”
“I…” Rory’s throat closed up. He didn’t know how to please another person. He’d explored his own body and discovered his enjoyment of playing with his prostate and his nipples, and how to stroke his cock. He’d never done it with another person.
“Let’s go take a shower together.” Bernard grinned. “We’ll get all clean and then explore each other in bed. We can do what you’re comfortable with, and nothing more.”
Bernard stood, and Rory took his hand.
