“So, you think Rory might not be straight?”
“I get that feeling,” Bernard said. “But I didn’t press him. I’m going to let him discover who he is on his own and I’ll be there for him.”
“He’s thirty-five. Shouldn’t he know by now?”
“Not always. His devotion to his religion can suppress some emotions. I came out at twenty-two. It was hard.”
Bernard remembered coming out. He had a supportive family behind him. Rory wouldn’t have the same. He would have Bernard as a support, no matter what.
He took a bite of his burger. Rory might be gay, or bi, or anything in between. He’d support him. He couldn’t say the same about Rory’s family. The church would excommunicate him and his family might disown him. There was no way to know.
“So.” Sarah squinted. “Is this why you’re waiting? You might have a chance with Rory?”
“No, he’s my friend,” Bernard said. “And besides, he could find someone hotter than me.”
“If you say so.” Sarah smiled.
“What’s that mean?”
“You need to stop with this self-doubt. It’s getting old. You’re an attractive man. It’s time you see that.”
“I don’t know.”
“Take a good long look in the mirror one day and point to the things you like about yourself. Then you’ll see it.”
Bernard left it at that.
*
AFTER WORK, BERNARDdropped Sarah off at home.
“Hey, you should come over for dinner on Friday,” she said. “John’s going to make roasted chicken, roasted potatoes, steamed veggies, and some amazing bread pudding.”
“Is this a setup?” he asked.
“No, I promise.” She crossed her heart. “We just haven’t had you over in a while. Now that you’re feeling better, we need to spend time together. And stop being so paranoid.”
“Dinner sounds wonderful, thank you.”
“Great.”
On his way home, Bernard rehashed everything that had happened with Sarah that day. He was well aware how sneaky she could be, and he was positive she was plotting something. Kelly seemed great, but Bernard didn’t know him. He had already done something similar with Sean, but it’d be worse with Kelly. If it didn’t work out with Kelly, he’d still have to see John and Sarah. Kelly would also be around. He wouldn’t risk it.
Bernard took Ginger for a walk. He breathed in the warm evening air. It soothed him as they went on their way that evening. He took in the familiar sights of the neighborhood. Ten years he’d been here. Ten years. Where had all that time gone? Working his fingers to the bone, that’s where. After college, he’d bought his house from his Uncle Jorge and spent the last decade paying it off. Now, the place was all his.
He walked around the block three times before he ran out of energy. The walk invigorated him. He was proud of making it around three times.
After showering off the sweat, he warmed up leftovers from the barbecue and put onSleepless in Seattle.
“Are these rom-coms giving me unrealistic expectations of finding love?” he asked Ginger.
She snuggled up to him and sighed.
“Well, I think they are. I’m not going to find Mr. Right sitting at a coffee shop or a diner. That might be why I’m not good at dating. I expect too much.”
Was Sean an option for dating? They hit it off and, according to Mark, he might be looking for a relationship. Sean lived on the other side of town. They could keep it secret. He didn’t want to jump to conclusions and would let Sean make the first move.
Bernard went into the kitchen and cleaned his dishes.
