“I…I’m sorry, I’m sorry. I just need to…I don’t know. Damn it, I’m sorry.”
“Sorry for what? What’s going on?”
Bernard placed his hands on Rory’s shoulders and steadied him.
His hands feel nice. I love his touch.
“I’m like you. I mean, I’m gay like you. I’ve had feelings for you for so long, I don’t even remember when it started. I’m sorry I didn’t say anything before. I want to be with you, but I’m afraid I’m too late. Please, for the love of God tell me I’m not too late. Tell me I have a chance with you, that we have a chance. I’m sorry I waited so long. My heart aches for you. It has for so long. I don’t know what to do now. Please, help me.”
Bernard wrapped his arms around him and squeezed. He cried into Bernard’s shoulder, releasing the anguish that had built up inside him over the last twenty years. He’d finally admitted everything out loud.
“I…I can’t live the lie anymore. I let the church dictate who I should and shouldn’t love,” Rory said. “But my brother, my friends, and even my father know I have feelings for you.”
His father didn’t come out and say it, but he pushed him to go to the park with Bernard back in April.
“I’m here for you, Rory. I’ve had feelings for you for years too. I never thought this day would come. I’m here though. Whatever you need, I’m here for you.”
“I want to kiss you,” Rory said.
“You want to kiss me?”
“Yes, I’ve thought about it before, and I want to know what it’s like to kiss you.”
“I’d love nothing more than to kiss you.”
Rory pressed his lips against Bernard’s, heat surging through his body as they connected. He pushed his tongue into Bernard’s mouth, searching for his tongue. His body exploded into a hundred emotions. He explored Bernard’s body as they embraced, touching every inch of the man he’d dreamed of being with. Bernard’s kiss was better than he’d ever imagined, and he wanted more of him. He wanted all of Bernard’s body against his.
“That felt right,” Rory said as he released the kiss.
“You feel right,” Bernard said.
“I want to go on a proper date with you. I want to take you out.”
“I’d love that.”
“Does next Saturday work?” Rory said.
“Yes, next Saturday will be great.” Bernard’s beautiful brown eyes gazed into his. “What did you want to do?”
“I’ll plan something. It’ll be a surprise. I want to spend the whole day with you.”
“I look forward to it.”
“Can I stay here a little and just have you hold me?”
“Of course.”
Bernard held him against his chest. The sound of their breathing filled the silence as they drifted off to sleep.
Rory woke to hear Bernard gasping for breath. He watched for a moment, and Bernard would stop breathing, then gasp.
“Bernard, wake up.” He shook him.
“What—what happened?”
“You stopped breathing,” Rory said.
“Oh, yeah. That happens if I don’t use my CPAP.”
