"Like I said, we'll figure this out," she promises. "I love you. You're not alone in this, and if the universe gives you anything else, we'll take that on, too."
"I love you too," I say.
We hang up, and I'm left in the silence of my living room again. I stare out the window at the manicured grounds of the estate, thinking of my brothers, of Niko, of the tiny life growing inside me.
I sit there for who knows how long, but when I take a sip of my tea next, it's cold.
I'm just so terrified of losing any of them. Of having to choose.
But maybe Keira is right. Maybe I've been underestimating my brothers all along. Maybe they'd choose me, choose us, over their need for vengeance.
Or maybe I'm just being naive.
Either way, I can't sit by and watch the people I love destroy each other. Not when I have the power to stop it.
It's time to fight, really this time. Not lose the gusto, even if it means standing in the line of fire myself.
27
CALLI
The gates of the Kastaris estate are closing in on me. I haven't left in days. My brothers are so preoccupied with everything they've left me alone. But being here, doing nothing, makes me feel like I can't breathe.
So I do the only thing I can. I leave.
I don't even make an excuse. If they want to stop me, they can try, but I've spent enough years letting them box me in. I slip on my coat and sunglasses, sliding into the waiting SUV I called.
"Where to, miss?" the driver asks, glancing back in the mirror.
"Michigan Avenue. Drop me by the shops."
It's not a lie, exactly. I tell myself retail therapy might take my mind off the nightmare my life's become. Katerina texted me earlier suggesting lunch, so I plan on meeting her too. Something normal. Something girly and light and safe.
The moment I clear the gates, I exhale like I've been holding my breath for days. Maybe I have been. So worried the truthis written across my face and at any moment my brothers will appear knowing everything.
I still haven't spoken to Niko. I just don't know what to do. I have to work on what Keira said, give my brothers a chance, tell them, then I can deal with Niko. One thing at a time.
We arrive in the city and I get out.
"I'll be going home with Katerina later, so you don't have to wait," I say to the driver.
"Yes, ma'am," he says, nodding.
I start walking and take a deep breath, and I feel like the city embraces me, indifferent to the war brewing between families, indifferent to the tiny heart beating inside me. Normal people living normal lives. I continue walking, moving through crowds on Michigan Avenue, watching couples holding hands, mothers pushing strollers. All these people who've never had to choose between the family they were born into and the family they're creating.
I feel a bit of jealousy rise in me. It's something I've never really experienced, but I suppose at one point or another in anyone's life, being anyone but themselves becomes appealing. The unknown is how long that feeling lasts.
My phone buzzes. Katerina.
Booked a table at Gianni's for 1:30 p.m. See you then!
I text back.
Can't wait, beautiful!
It's not technically a lie, but not 100% true either. I don't even know what I'm doing out here except breathing air that doesn't taste like fear and secrets.
I walk past a baby boutique and I stop at the window. I look over their collection of baby clothes, impossibly tiny sweaters and booties. My hand drifts unconsciously to my stomach.
