As he squeezed back, she felt his tension begin to ease.
“Since before I can remember,” he said at length, in a firm, quiet tone, “I’ve heard all about these great sacrifices you made out of love for me, how you set aside your own needs and lived for mine alone. But you decided that for yourself, maman. I was just a child and had no say in the matter. And I’m tired of living under the burden of this debt, which I never asked for and can never hope to repay.”
“I see.” Slowly her grace rose, tucking her dog under one arm. “I am nothing more than a burden to you now. I shall leave you, then, for you’ll be happier without me.”
She turned to go, though in a rather dawdling manner, as though expecting to be stopped. When Jonathan moved to block her exit, she shot him a satisfied look—which dropped straight off her face as she realized he’d only been reaching for the bell pull.
The butler appeared so promptly, Claire surmised he’d been listening at the door.
“Mr. Evans,” Jonathan said, “the duchess is ready to depart. Would you please order her carriage?”
“I took the liberty of doing so several minutes ago.” Mr. Evans turned to the lady with a bow. “Your grace’s carriage is ready.”
Though the duchess greeted this declaration with visible astonishment (and horror), she could only allow the butler to lead her away.
Sixteen
Quietly holding hands, Claire and Jonathan stared at the door long after his mother had disappeared behind it.
Claire was first to break the silence. “You were right,” she said with a rueful sigh. “She didn’t listen to a word you said.”
“Perhaps.” Jonathan shrugged “But she knows the terms on which I’ll welcome her back into my life, should she ever decide to meet them.” He looked down at Claire. “In any event, I am glad to have said my piece. And for that, I have you to thank.”
She gazed steadily up at him. “I’m still in shock that you’re here. Dead set as you were against seeing her—la, was it only yesterday?” She shook her head in wonder. “What made you change your mind?”
Looking rather discomfited, he released her hand. “To own the truth…”
When he collected his satchel and pulled a familiar book from inside, she felt the bottom drop out of her stomach. “Where did you find that?”
“Fallen in the upstairs corridor,” he said sheepishly.
“Horsefeathers! And you…you read it?”
He nodded. “Are you angry?”
“I…no—yes—I don’t know. I’m mortified. I never meant anybody to read—let alone you—” She gulped. “The things I wrote about you were not very kind?—”
“Yet not unjust!” A smile tugged at the corners of his mouth. “I particularly enjoyed the inspired nickname?—”
“Don’t say it!” Claire was torn between dissolving in laughter and hiding behind the sofa. “Please! It’s all Elizabeth’s fault, you know.”
“I do know. And I can’t blame her one bit. If a man behaves like a Ratbag?—”
“I said don’t say it!” Claire cuffed him on the shoulder, though she couldn’t quite suppress a smile. “When I wrote those things I was confused, to say the least. I didn’t know my own heart. You’re not to take any of it seriously.”
He sobered. “I think you did know your heart—or at least, your pen did, for it was evident in every word on the page. Your heart’s nobility and generosity, its eagerness to give love—if only the object of that love could offer the smallest proof of his worthiness.” He took her hands. “I cannot but take your writing seriously, for it showed me how wrong I was to doubt you for even a moment. It brought me from despair to hope.” His eyes implored her. “Still, I know I shouldn’t have read your private words. Can you forgive me? I’ve already thought of a way to even the score.”
“Oh?”
She was mystified to see him reach once more into the satchel, producing a sheaf of letters tied with string. “I settled it with Noah when we met each other on the stairs.”
“What’s Noah got to do with anything?”
Jonathan pressed the bundle into her hands. “This is our correspondence of the past year—Noah’s letters to me, and mine to him. He gave me permission to share them with you. And I think it’s important that you read them.”
“Very well.” When he just continued to look at her, she raised a brow. “You mean right now?”
He nodded.
