I squeezed my eyes shut, grateful we were no longer on FaceTime. I could’ve used the opportunity to correct him, but I didn’t want to get into a fight. Not when I’d come to rely on Preston. Not when I’d come to look forward to seeing him every day.
“Yes. Yes, it is.” I craned my neck toward the front door, hoping maybe Sophia was right and Preston was home. “Look, I have to go.”
“Yeah. Me too.” He sounded tired. “See you in August.”
I didn’t respond because what was there to say? I’d believe it when I saw it.
Sophia returned to the kitchen with her shoulders slumped. “Not Preston.”
I let her watch TV for a while before going through her bedtime routine. When she climbed into bed, I tucked the covers around her and leaned down to place a kiss on her forehead.
“I miss Preston,” she said as I leaned back, sitting on the edge of her bed.
I would’ve been concerned by how attached she was to him, did I not feel it too. He’d become a fixture in our home, taking care of Sophia. But also, taking care of me. I’d lost count of the number of meals he’d prepared, the chores he’d done to make my life easier. He was incredibly nurturing and considerate, and any doubts I’d had about a male nanny had quickly vanished.
“You’ll get to spend all day with him tomorrow.” That made her smile.
“He tells the best stories,” she said around a yawn.
“Better than Gabby?” I asked.
She nodded, her eyes already closed. “Gabby just reads straight from the book, but Preston makes them up.”
“Wow,” I said. “Sounds pretty awesome.”
“Mm-hmm,” she hummed, but she was already half asleep.
I sat there a minute, just watching her as she drifted off to sleep. My beautiful baby. My Sophia.
I couldn’t believe how quickly she was growing up. Sometimes it felt like I was missing out. Like I was so busy trying to give her the life she deserved that I sacrificed spending time with her. It was something I grappled with a lot, but more so this summer.
Maybe it was because she was home instead of with Cal. Maybe it was because Preston was watching her instead of Gabby. Whatever it was, I’d noticed a shift in my priorities. And I found myself trying to carve out more opportunities to spend time with my daughter. To show her just how much she mattered to me.
Finally, when her breathing evened out, I switched off the lamp and crept out of her room. I grabbed my glass of wine as I passed through the kitchen, heading toward the pool with my laptop. The lights in the pool house were off, and I hadn’t thought to check if Preston’s car was in the driveway. I reminded myself it didn’t matter; I shouldn’t care. He was my employee, and his personal life was just that.
The moon cast shadows on the lawn through the palm trees, reflecting on the surface of the pool. I took a seat in one of the chairs and opened my laptop, only to shut it again. I had a million things to do, but with a warm breeze in the air and the water cascading gently into the pool, I didn’t want to do anything. And as I looked out over my beautiful backyard with the perfect grass and the perfect pool, I felt a deep sense of loneliness.
With a heavy sigh, I downed the rest of my wine and stood from the chair. Sophia was tucked safely in her bed, and most of the things on my to-do list could wait. And the rest—I could handle first thing in the morning. Right now, there was a hammock calling my name. It was a fabric one that was incredibly comfortable, yet I rarely used it. Rarely made the time.
I padded across the grass, enjoying the sensation of the smooth blades flicking across the bare skin of my feet. An airplane hummed overhead, but it seemed distant. As if part of a different world.
I angled my head toward the sky, watching the plane as I leaned back to sit in the hammock. I realized a moment too late that it was already occupied. It swung wildly, and we were a tangle of arms and legs, the scent of cedar filling my nose. I knew it was Preston, knew it was his strong arms that caged me in, holding me close. Knew he was the one keeping me from falling.
The hammock finally stilled, but my heart didn’t. No, my heart clamored against my ribs as Preston continued to hold me long after the threat of toppling had passed. He didn’t move and neither did I.
I blinked up at him. “I didn’t realize you were out here.”
He stared at me, and even in the dim light, I felt the intensity of his gaze. “I must have fallen asleep.”
“I gave you one hell of a wake-up call.” I shot him a sheepish grin. “I’m so sorry.”
“I’m not,” he rasped, lifting his hand to tuck a strand of hair behind my ear.
“You’re not?” I felt a little silly for repeating him, but it was as if all rational thought had fled my brain the moment I’d found myself tangled up in the hammock with him.
His blue eyes locked on mine. “No.”
One hand was tucked beneath his cheek, but he used the other to caress my face. He traced my jaw with his thumb before brushing it over my lips. I felt like I was locked in a dream, an alternate reality. And I wanted so badly to embrace it, to embrace him. I wanted to believe it was real.
