“I know I don’t have to. I want to.”
He didn’t move. “No, really. It’s okay.”
I frowned at him, trying to understand. What guy in the history of—well, ever—turned down a blow job?
“Did I do something wrong?” I sat back on my heels, struggling to make sense of it all.
He reached out, grabbing my hands to stop me. “No. Not at all.” He cupped one of my cheeks, and I leaned into his touch. “I was just trying to be careful. I should probably get back to the pool house before Sophia wakes up.”
I glanced at the clock on the wall. It wasn’t even six-thirty. We both knew she wouldn’t be up before eight.
“She likely won’t be up for another hour—at least. So why don’t you tell me what’s really going on?” I asked. “I mean, it’s not like I haven’t seen your dick before.”
“Yeah, but…you were distracted. It was dark.”
Okay. So, he felt more comfortable having sex with the lights off.Interesting. But also, completely fine. It wasn’t the worst quirk to have.
I went over and switched off the lights, so that only the natural light from the sunrise came in through the window. I resumed my position in front of him and tugged playfully at his waistband. “Now then. Where were we?”
Instead of removing his shorts as I’d expected, he turned and walked away. He rested his forehead against the opposite wall, banging it gently with his fist.
“Preston?” I went over to him, placing my hand on his back. “What’s wrong?”
“I-I,” he stuttered. “This is harder than I thought it would be.”
I rubbed circles on his back, trying to give him some space while also showing my support. “It’s okay. We don’t have to do anything you don’t want to. I’m sorry if I pushed.”
“You didn’t do anything wrong,” he sighed, his voice full of sincerity.
“Will you talk to me? Help me understand?” Because the scenarios racing through my mind were absolutely terrifying.
He drew in a deep breath, and I tried to prepare myself for whatever he was about to tell me. “I only have one testicle.”
“The last girl you dated must have been a real ballbuster,” I teased, assuming this was some kind of joke.
I mean, how could I not have noticed something like that? The lights had been dimmed, sure. And he’d never taken his clothes completely off. I hadn’t thought much of it at the time—I was kind of distracted. But now I wondered if it had been intentional.
He turned to face me and barked out a laugh. “You know, I don’t think I’ve heard that one before.” He wagged his finger at me. “I wish I were kidding. But I’m not.”
He lowered the front of his waistband, giving me a full view of his semi-hard dick. I was momentarily distracted by the sight of it—long, heavy, and really just perfect. And, yep—there it was—only one testicle.
“Oh my god,” I breathed. “Preston, I’m so sorry. I swear I thought you were joking. I had no idea.”
He huffed. “Well, I guess I did a better job of hiding it than I thought. I, um, well, you’re the first woman I’ve slept with since…”
I watched him struggle with his emotions, desperate to comfort him. The man who always made my daughter smile, made her laugh and have fun, was baring himself to me. And here I’d turned his struggle, his pain, into some kind of joke.
“Since I went into remission,” he said.
I held my hands to my lips, tears pricking my eyes as I swallowed back emotion.Cancer?He was so young.Tooyoung to have gone through something like that.
And I’d made fun of him—a man who’d survived testicular cancer. I’d never felt like more of an ass.
“Though your joke was pretty clever.” He glanced up at me from beneath his long, dark lashes.
“I’ll have to work on my comedic timing.” I tried to keep it light, sensing this was difficult for him. I placed my hand on his forearm, needing to touch him. “But seriously, I’m sorry.”
“It’s okay. Really. Trust me, I’ve cracked many jokes about it over the years. Sometimes you have to—it’s the only way to cope with something so terrible.”
