She cringed, leaning her head on my shoulder. “That was definitely not my intent. I was trying to be fair. I was trying to do something nice.”
“And I had to ruin it by being an asshole.” I grinned, taking her hand in mine. “It’s hard. We’ve missed you.”
“I’ve missed you too. I’ve just been…busy.”
“We have time now,” I said, even knowing she was tired. “Tell me what’s been going on.”
She gave me a quick rundown, and I realized she’d been dealing with even more than I’d known. While part of me felt foolish for questioning her earlier, another part wondered if I was right to do so. Wondered if she’d ever fully let me in.
“How’s Soph?” she asked.
“Good. Brooklyn came over today, and they had fun swimming. She missed you at bedtime. And…I think she’s beginning to suspect something.”
Alexis stilled. “Why do you think that?”
I lifted a shoulder. “I don’t know. Just a few comments she made.”
She was quiet.
“We need to tell her, Alexis.”
“No.” She jerked her hand through her hair, turning to look at me. “I mean, at least, not yet.”
“When?” I wanted to respect her decision of when to tell Sophia, but I was tired of feeling like her dirty little secret. “The summer is almost over.”
“I…I don’t know. Let me think about it.” When I didn’t say anything, she added, “You understand, right? With your placement still in effect and her birthday coming up, we just…” She sighed. “We need to wait a little longer.”
I nodded, but I didn’t like it. And worry lurked in the back of my mind that she might never be ready to tell Sophia—or anyone, for that matter.
She stood, and I expected her to bid me goodnight. Instead, she asked, “Will you stay with me? I’m not ready to say goodnight.”
I wasn’t either, but I never was. Still, I understood and respected her wishes to have me sleep in the pool house, especially after Sophia had nearly walked in on us a few weeks ago. I couldn’t wait to tell Sophia, to not have to sneak around anymore. I was so tired of trying to hide how I felt about this woman.
I followed Alexis up the stairs to her room, shutting the door quietly behind me. While she got ready for bed, I stripped down to my boxer briefs and paused when my phone lit up on the nightstand. I frowned at the screen, wondering why Sam was calling so late. I sent it to voice mail, promising myself to call him back in the morning.
I climbed between the sheets and tucked an arm behind my head, waiting for what felt like a long time. Finally, she switched off the bathroom light and meandered over to the bed. Even in a loose T-shirt, she looked incredibly sexy. And I smiled when I realized it was one of my shirts she was wearing.
She plugged in her phone and climbed between the covers, snuggling in. We were quiet for a while, and I’d almost wondered if she’d fallen asleep when she said, “Growing up, my family struggled.” I stayed silent, waiting for her to continue. “It’s not easy being the smelly kid at school or trying to hide the fact that you don’t have a lunch or a home.”
My heart ached for her, for the child that faced hunger and homelessness. For the woman who had overcome such obstacles, but was still haunted by her past. I held her closer to me, wanting her to know that she was safe. She was loved.
“I’m sorry. I had no idea.” I felt even worse for my comment earlier about buying affection.
She sniffed. “No one does—except Lauren. It’s not something I like to discuss. And it’s not something I care for people to know about me.”
“Thank you for trusting me with this.” My tone was solemn.
Everything made so much more sense now. Her relentless drive to be successful, to make money. Her desire to give Sophia everything and more.
“I trust you with everything,” she said, rolling so she was propped up on her elbow. “And I love you. But I’m scared,” she whispered.
I cupped her cheek with my hand. Fuck if it didn’t feel good to hear her say she loved me. But at the moment, I was more focused on the fact that she was scared.
“Why? What are you scared of?”
“I’m scared of losing you. I’m scared this won’t last. And—” she dropped her head so that she was staring at my chest “—I’m scared of hurting Sophia.”
“Do you think she would be upset by the idea of us together?” I asked. I didn’t, but I was starting to wonder if maybe Alexis did.
